5 Reasons Perfectionists Never Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself conditional acceptance, gradual improvement, guilt, intentions, perfectionism, positive growth, resolutions, self-sabotage Leave a comment

It’s not because you’re weak! “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” —Japanese proverb The statistics aren’t promising: Only 8 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Since my resolutions don’t seem to change much from one year to the next, with only varying degrees of progress each time, I…

Dr. Bluestein’s Original Reprint Series

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 28, 2022April 27, 2023 Behavior Management, Books, Bookstore, Counselors, Culture and Community, Educators, Parenting, Parents beginning teachers, Books by Dr Jane Bluestein, career satisfaction, depression, Dr. Jane Bluestein's books, gratitude, handwriting, healthy families, jouirnaling, mental health, miracles and gratitude, parenting, perfectionism, positive relationships, school safety, school success, self-harm, successful teaching, teaching career, win-win parenting Leave a comment

New Life for Old (and Not-so-Old) Books In the world of publishing, it is not unusual for books to have a natural life cycle. When two of my publishers downsized, several of my books went out of print. Getting the rights back to this content has allowed me to set up this new Original…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 30, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Overcoming obstacles, Problem solving, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority agendas for others, assumptions, autonomy, being present, being right, blame, change, conflict, consciousness, control, criticism, dependence, double standards, expectations, fear of abandonment, judgment, listening, making others wrong, overreacting, perfectionism, personal growth, reactivity, relationships, respect, shaming 2 Comments

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Starting Over is Not Failure

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 2, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Overcoming obstacles, Parents, Perfectionism, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth accomplishing goals, accomplishment, adversity, completion, fresh starts, goal-setting, growth, moving forward, new day, optimism, perfectionism, persistence, rebounding, resetting goals, resolutions, setbacks, starting fresh, starting over, trying again Leave a comment

Beginning a new year. Or a new day. Note, May 2, 2016: I started this post on Feb. 8, 2014 and, like many things I started during the time I was working on the perfectionism book, lost track of it before I finished. I think the idea of coming back more than 2 years later…

Another Perfectionism Statistic

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 15, 2016June 11, 2022 Counselors, General Interest, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Taking care of yourself dealing with decline, depression, handling failure, perfectionism, suicide Leave a comment

An issue that will always need attention As a longtime fan, I was reading about the recent death of Keith Emerson (keyboard player for Emerson, Lake and Palmer), still feeling devastated by recent losses of a number of well-known people who have held a place in my life for many years. Of the numerous comments reflecting on this…

Presentation: The Perfection Deception

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 28, 2015May 2, 2022 Counselors, Creativity and independence, Cultural Changes, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Health and Safety, Overcoming obstacles, Parents, Perfectionism, Presentation, Presentation for educators, Presentation for parents, Presentation- general interest, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself abandonment, attachment, authenticity, compensation, culture, emotional safety, health, healthy striving for excellence, image, inner critic, media, mental health, overcommitment, perfectionism, physical health, relationships, self-acceptance, self-care, suicide Leave a comment

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging our relationships, making us sick, and holding our happiness hostage Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Perfectionism may sound like a good thing, but it’s entirely different from the more realistic and achievable healthy pursuit of excellence. Working diligently toward improvement, learning, and growth is also far less destructive (and…

Book: The Perfection Deception

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 27, 2015April 27, 2023 Books, Counselors, Cultural Changes, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Parenting, Parents, Perfectionism, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself attachment, authenticity, bodily harm, body dysmorphia, compensation, culture, eating disorders, emotional safety, health, healthy striving for excellence, image, inner critic, mental, mental health, motivation, overcommitment, perfectionism, physical health, relationships, self-acceptance, self-care, suicide 4 Comments

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging your relationships, making you sick, and holding your happiness hostage. Have you ever: * compared yourself to others and seemed to come up short? * felt like no matter how much you did or how hard you tried, it wasn’t enough? * set unrealistic, even harmful standards for…

Interview Questions: The Perfection Deception

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 7, 2015January 24, 2020 For the Media abandonment, adequacy, all-or-nothing, anxiety, attachment, criticism, culture, defining self, emotional safety, encouragement, failure, fear, healthy pursuit of excellence, identity, learning, making mistakes, media, perfectionism, procrastination, rejection, relationships, self-acceptance, self-worth Leave a comment

Interview Questions for The Perfection Deception by Dr. Jane Bluestein The following questions about The Perfection Deception have been provided to help guide your interview. Please feel free to ask any questions the book or topic inspires. In a live interview, Dr. Bluestein’s responses may not match the answers provided below. 1. At the beginning of…

Writing About Perfectionism

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 6, 2013May 4, 2022 Blog, Perfectionism coauthoring, perfection deception, perfectionism, persistence, research, writing a book, writing process 1 Comment

An interesting journey: 2013-2015 A few weeks ago, I was invited to co-author a new edition of a book on perfectionism. I was, at the time, talking with two other friends about doing a leadership book in the Win-Win series sometime this fall, and I was also looking over a collection of notes for a book on recovery…

Perfectionism vs. Healthy Pursuit of Excellence

By Dr. Miriam AdderholdtJanuary 6, 2013June 11, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Health and Safety, Parents, Social and Emotional Growth, Students, Taking care of yourself failure, healthy pursuit of excellence, perfectionism, persistence, resiliency, SEL, social and emotional growth 2 Comments

Explaining the difference The following information was excerpted from Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? by Dr. Miriam Renée Adderholdt and reprinted with her permission. Perfectionists reach for impossible goals. Pursuers of Excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of Excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists…