5 Reasons Perfectionists Never Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions

It’s not because you’re weak! “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” —Japanese proverb The statistics aren’t promising: Only 8 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Since my resolutions don’t seem to change much from one year to the next, with only varying degrees of progress each time, I…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Starting Over is Not Failure

Beginning a new year. Or a new day. Note, May 2, 2016: I started this post on Feb. 8, 2014 and, like many things I started during the time I was working on the perfectionism book, lost track of it before I finished. I think the idea of coming back more than 2 years later…

Another Perfectionism Statistic

An issue that will always need attention As a longtime fan, I was reading about the recent death of Keith Emerson (keyboard player for Emerson, Lake and Palmer), still feeling devastated by recent losses of a number of well-known people who have held a place in my life for many years. Of the numerous comments reflecting on this…

Presentation: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging our relationships, making us sick, and holding our happiness hostage Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Perfectionism may sound like a good thing, but it’s entirely different from the more realistic and achievable healthy pursuit of excellence. Working diligently toward improvement, learning, and growth is also far less destructive (and…

Book: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging your relationships, making you sick, and holding your happiness hostage. Have you ever: * compared yourself to others and seemed to come up short? * felt like no matter how much you did or how hard you tried, it wasn’t enough? * set unrealistic, even harmful standards for…

Interview Questions: The Perfection Deception

Interview Questions for The Perfection Deception by Dr. Jane Bluestein The following questions about The Perfection Deception have been provided to help guide your interview. Please feel free to ask any questions the book or topic inspires. In a live interview, Dr. Bluestein’s responses may not match the answers provided below. 1. At the beginning of…

Writing About Perfectionism

An interesting journey: 2013-2015 A few weeks ago, I was invited to co-author a new edition of a book on perfectionism. I was, at the time, talking with two other friends about doing a leadership book in the Win-Win series sometime this fall, and I was also looking over a collection of notes for a book on recovery…

Perfectionism vs. Healthy Pursuit of Excellence

Explaining the difference The following information was excerpted from Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? by Dr. Miriam Renée Adderholdt and reprinted with her permission. Perfectionists reach for impossible goals. Pursuers of Excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of Excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists…

The Future and Art of Drug Education with Jeff Wolfsberg

Ways to Reach Students Effectively Episode Summary: The good and the bad of current drug education programs in school, including the problems with information-based programs, the value of getting input from students, and