What is Optimal Self-Esteem?

By Robert ReasonerJuly 6, 2022July 6, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Life Management, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Recognition and Reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth approval, authentic self, autonomy, competence, ecosystem, feedback, improvement, power, progress, seeking approval, self, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-motivation, sense of worth Leave a comment

Egosystem or Ecosystem? This piece was contributed by Robert W. Reasoner, former president of the International Council for Self-Esteem. It appeared in the council’s Research Bulletin #1, May 20, 2006 It is generally accepted that people seek to maintain, enhance, and protect their self-esteem. Although there may be cultural variability in its expression, the tendency to seek self-esteem is…

Tired of Nagging Your Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJanuary 6, 2019July 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority autonomy, boundaries, choices, cooperation, encouragement, follow through, gotcha, nagging, opposition, parental authority, positive connection, positive consequences, positivity, power struggles, privileges, saying no to kids, threats, validation, win-win parenting Leave a comment

Here’s What you Can Do Instead You’ve probably heard them all. “Awww, Mom!!” “Do I have to.” Or my all-time favorite, “You can’t make me!” Or maybe your kids’ routines are more along the lines of pouting, arguing, ignoring you (or agreeing and then ignoring you). Either way, in the day-to-day dealings with children, there…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 30, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Overcoming obstacles, Problem solving, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority agendas for others, assumptions, autonomy, being present, being right, blame, change, conflict, consciousness, control, criticism, dependence, double standards, expectations, fear of abandonment, judgment, listening, making others wrong, overreacting, perfectionism, personal growth, reactivity, relationships, respect, shaming 2 Comments

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Wish List for Beginning Teachers

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 24, 2016April 30, 2022 Beginning Teachers, Educators, Teacher retention, Teaching autonomy, beginning teachers, community, difficult students, discretion, education profession, encouragement, new teachers, status, support, value, what teachers want, wish list Leave a comment

Interviews with new teachers reveal what they want most: • Encouragement: Feedback that builds on their strengths, not just cautions to “do better” or “try harder.” • Fairness: Not being placed in the toughest schools, given the most challenging students, or being the first asked to make last-minute room or grade level changes • Honesty:…

Motivation vs. Manipulation

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 1, 2016May 1, 2022 Feedback and encouragement, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Recognition and reinforcement, Teaching authority relationships, autonomy, choices, i-messages, manipulation, motivation, obedience vs. cooperation, people pleasing, positive consequences, praise, purpose, recognition, reinforcement 2 Comments

There is a difference You see the kids on task and behaving, and it’s natural to want to reinforce what they’re doing. By the same token, the kids who are dragging their feet or not doing their work (or chores) may need a bit of a fire lit under them. There are positive and effective…

Why Teachers Quit, part 6

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 19, 2013May 4, 2022 Beginning Teachers, Educators, General Interest, Teacher retention autonomy, beginning teachers, challenges for new, community, discretion, mentorship, new teachers, status, support, teacher retention, value Leave a comment

Part 6: Issues of Autonomy and Discretion Note: The following is an excerpt from The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide: Win-Win Strategies for Success, chapter three, “Climate Advisory: Entering Win-Lose Territory.” Although this book also elaborates on why teachers stay in the profession (in my case, since 1973), I believe it is important to also address some of…

Why Teachers Quit, part 4

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 19, 2013May 4, 2022 Beginning Teachers, Educators, General Interest, Teacher retention autonomy, beginning teachers, challenges for new teachers, difficult parents, difficult students, discretion, encouragement, new teachers, status, teacher retention, value Leave a comment

Part 4: Difficult Students, Difficult Parents Note: The following is an excerpt from The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide: Win-Win Strategies for Success, chapter three, “Climate Advisory: Entering Win-Lose Territory.” Although this book also elaborates on why teachers stay in the profession (in my case, since 1973), I believe it is important to also address some of the…

Why Teachers Quit, part 2

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 19, 2013May 4, 2022 Beginning Teachers, Educators, General Interest, Teacher retention autonomy, beginning teachers, challenges for new teachers, complexity of teaching, difficulty, discretion, new teachers, status, teacher retention, value, why teachers quit Leave a comment

Part 2: It’s Harder than it Looks Note: The following is an excerpt from The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide: Win-Win Strategies for Success, chapter three, “Climate Advisory: Entering Win-Lose Territory.” Although this book also elaborates on why teachers stay in the profession (in my case, since 1973), I believe it is important to also address some of…

Why Teachers Quit, part 1

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 19, 2013May 4, 2022 Beginning Teachers, Educators, General Interest, Teacher retention autonomy, beginning teachers, challenges for new teachers, community, discretion, finances, mentorship, new teachers, status, support, teacher retention Leave a comment

Part 1: Financial Realities Note: The following is an excerpt from The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide: Win-Win Strategies for Success, chapter three, “Climate Advisory: Entering Win-Lose Territory.” Although this book also elaborates on why teachers stay in the profession (in my case, since 1973), I believe it is important to also address some of the issues that…