The Myth of the Self-Esteem “Myth”

What self-esteem is, and is not On this page you will find a comparison between the characteristics of someone with a healthy, functional sense of self-worth vs. the characteristics of someone whose sense of worth, value, esteem, and deservingness is weak or low. See below for additional information. Self-esteem clearly goes beyond simply “feeling good…

Recharging our Professional Batteries

3 ways to keep the love alive! Earlier this year, I was contacted by a representative from a Polish Education Blog for an interview. They sent me a series of questions. One that really caught my eye— and was a lot of fun to answer— is offered below. The question is word-for-word the way it…

“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for…

Perfectionism with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt

What’s Bad About Being Too Good? Episode Summary: In a culture that praises and rewards excellence and accomplishment, how can we avoid crossing the line to a dangerous desire for perfection? Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt about what perfectionism is, how it can negatively affect our social and emotional health, and the difference…

What’s Wrong with I-Messages?

Problems with a popular formula © 1991, 1999, 2003, 2013 This article was originally written for an issue of Families in Recovery, a parenting magazine that is no longer in print. Although the examples primarily feature parent-child interactions, the dynamics, issues, and alternatives are applicable to any relationship. A man in one of my workshops…

Perfectionism vs. Healthy Pursuit of Excellence

Explaining the difference The following information was excerpted from Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? by Dr. Miriam Renée Adderholdt and reprinted with her permission. Perfectionists reach for impossible goals. Pursuers of Excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of Excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists…

Jane Bluestein Discusses Emotionally Safe Schools

Interview by Kate Bedford ©2001 Kate Bedford, Six Seconds Jane Bluestein is an award winning author and speaker. Her newest book, Creating Emotionally Safe Schools, is a comprehensive look at how we can make any educational institution safer— from an emotional, academic, behavioral, social, and physical standpoint. Formerly an inner-city classroom teacher, crisis-intervention counselor, and…

15 Ways to Live Optimistically

Increasing positivity, hope, and optimism in your life and the lives of your loved ones Some of us are wired to be optimistic and cheerful, even in the face of unrelenting challenges and obstacles. Others have to make a conscious effort to focus the positive. Wherever you are on this continuum, here are a few…

Silver Linings

The up side of down times Imagine a world in which there were no unnecessary tragedies— not because negative events did not occur, but because we recognize that these occurrences may have been necessary to open the way for some greater blessings to happen. One of the greatest challenges in life is learning to see…

10 Characteristics of Healthy Adult-Child Relationships

Description of the characteristics Healthy, functional relationships between adults and children (including teacher-student relationships) are characterized by the following. Increasing the presence of these characteristics in your relationships is a great way to improve commitment, communications, cooperation and consideration, and reduce stress and conflict as well! This list applies to parents and care-givers as well…