5 Reasons Perfectionists Never Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself conditional acceptance, gradual improvement, guilt, intentions, perfectionism, positive growth, resolutions, self-sabotage Leave a comment

It’s not because you’re weak! “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” —Japanese proverb The statistics aren’t promising: Only 8 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Since my resolutions don’t seem to change much from one year to the next, with only varying degrees of progress each time, I…

8 Ways To Start Being Your Authentic Self

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Counselors, General Interest, Life Management, Mental Health, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself authentic self, authenticity, avoiding toxic people, being valued, confidence, old messages, seeking approval, self-care, true self, useful feedback Leave a comment

You can finally stop faking it! When we’re young, our survival depends on the approval of others. Most of us grow up looking for ways to fit in, which often means living up to the expectations others have for us—rather than being our authentic selves. In general, the need for approval drops off over the…

Educators at Risk

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 13, 2022June 13, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Counselors, Life Management, Mental Health, Professional growth, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Teacher retention, Teaching harmful beliefs, teacher stress, teachers at risk Leave a comment

Characteristics of educators at risk: * Feels personally responsible for a student’s successes and failures Measures personal success or failure by student behavior and achievement, or by approval from others Has an overwhelming need to avoid conflict and generate approval from others (which can manifest as attention-seeking, maintaining status quo, or even rebelliousness) Willing to…

Stop Telling Me How Lucky I Am!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 2, 2022June 2, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself acceptance, emotions, feeling feelings, feelings, friendship, gratitude, gratitude as a drug, hearing me, listening, processing emotions, reality, respect, suppressed feelings, validation Leave a comment

5 things to do instead I was having a really bad stretch at work. A cold, rainy week had left my students stir-crazy, loud, and barely manageable. I’d had an encounter with an angry parent (whose child wasn’t even in my class). And my administrator still hadn’t responded to several requests for basic supplies we…

Book: The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide

By Dr. Jane BluesteinAugust 13, 2021April 27, 2023 Assessment and Testing, Avoiding burnout, Avoiding power struggles, Beginning Teachers, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Body and Brain, Books, Building responsibility, Classroom management, Creating community, Cultural Changes, Culture and Community, Discipline, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, Health and Safety, Homework, Increasing Positivity, Intervening negative behavior, Leadership, Learning, Learning styles, Life Management, Mentorship, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating cooperation, Non-traditional learners, Parent-Teacher relationships, Problem solving, Professional growth, Recognition and reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, School climate, Schools in Society, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Special Needs, Taking care of yourself, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher retention, Teaching, Teaching, Tolerance and Respect, Win-win authority avoiding power struggles, beginning teachers, boundaries, challenges for new teachers, creating community, difficult students, discipline, emotional safety, emotionally safe classroom, learning differences, parent-teacher relationships, positive consequences, professional development feedback, professional growth, professional identity, school culture, self-care, student behavior, student self-management, teacher retention, teaching

Win-Win Strategies for Success by Dr. Jane Bluestein At the start or your career or at the end of your rope… Get your teaching career off to a winning start—or recharge your passion for your work! The new & revised edition of Dr. Jane Bluestein’s pivotal guide for your teaching career! A great gift for new…

37 Ways to Spread Love On Random Acts Of Kindness Day (& Every Other Day, Too!)

By Dr. Jane BluesteinFebruary 6, 2019April 30, 2022 Counselors, Creating community, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Increasing Positivity, Life Management, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself, Teacher Appreciation, Tolerance and Respect 1 Comment

Share your good vibes with the world. by Dr. Jane Bluestein No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop Think of the times you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s courtesy, thoughtfulness, or patience — and how good it felt to get a call from an old friend or when that…

Assuming Your Professional Teaching Identity

By Dr. Jane BluesteinAugust 13, 2017April 30, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Beginning Teachers, Educators, Leadership, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Teaching adjusting to a leadership role, beginning teachers, legal issues in teaching, life in a fishbowl, looking like a teacher, new teachers, personal integrity, professional image, teachers' public image, teaching and social media, teaching and the law, transition from student to professional, your authentic self 3 Comments

A guide for beginning teachers The following material is adapted from Chapter 6 of Becoming a Win-Win Teacher, a book written especially for new teachers, returning teachers, and anyone needing a shot in the arm during (or after) a challenging year. Teaching became easier when I started seeing myself as a teacher and no longer a college…

Getting Through the “Gimme” Season

By Dr. Jane BluesteinDecember 8, 2016April 30, 2022 Behavior Management, Discipline, Discipline, Gratitude and inspiration, Parenting, Parenting, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself bad reasons for buying, boundaries and holiday spending, gift giving, holiday shopping, limits on spending, presents, shopping for your kids Leave a comment

Tips for joyful giving (and staying sane) The hints start dropping early. Visions of sugarplums give way to images of the hottest toys, trends, and technology. Lists, links, and spreadsheets are emailed, tweeted, and texted. I want. I want. I want. Our inboxes overflow with gift ideas. We get wound up by the promises of glittery commercials…

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

By Luminita SaviucMay 30, 2016April 30, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Counselors, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Overcoming obstacles, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself 2 Comments

Letting go of pain, stress, and suffering Note from Dr. Bluestein: Many of you know how picky I am about what I include on this site. This is a piece I came across a while ago and have been wanting to include it here ever since. (Included with permission from the author, Luminita Saviuc.) This list strongly…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 30, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Overcoming obstacles, Problem solving, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority agendas for others, assumptions, autonomy, being present, being right, blame, change, conflict, consciousness, control, criticism, dependence, double standards, expectations, fear of abandonment, judgment, listening, making others wrong, overreacting, perfectionism, personal growth, reactivity, relationships, respect, shaming 2 Comments

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…