5 Reasons Perfectionists Never Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself conditional acceptance, gradual improvement, guilt, intentions, perfectionism, positive growth, resolutions, self-sabotage Leave a comment

It’s not because you’re weak! “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” —Japanese proverb The statistics aren’t promising: Only 8 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Since my resolutions don’t seem to change much from one year to the next, with only varying degrees of progress each time, I…

8 Ways To Start Being Your Authentic Self

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Counselors, General Interest, Life Management, Mental Health, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself authentic self, authenticity, avoiding toxic people, being valued, confidence, old messages, seeking approval, self-care, true self, useful feedback Leave a comment

You can finally stop faking it! When we’re young, our survival depends on the approval of others. Most of us grow up looking for ways to fit in, which often means living up to the expectations others have for us—rather than being our authentic selves. In general, the need for approval drops off over the…

Educators at Risk

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 13, 2022June 13, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Counselors, Life Management, Mental Health, Professional growth, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Teacher retention, Teaching harmful beliefs, teacher stress, teachers at risk Leave a comment

Characteristics of educators at risk: * Feels personally responsible for a student’s successes and failures Measures personal success or failure by student behavior and achievement, or by approval from others Has an overwhelming need to avoid conflict and generate approval from others (which can manifest as attention-seeking, maintaining status quo, or even rebelliousness) Willing to…

Stop Telling Me How Lucky I Am!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 2, 2022June 2, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself acceptance, emotions, feeling feelings, feelings, friendship, gratitude, gratitude as a drug, hearing me, listening, processing emotions, reality, respect, suppressed feelings, validation Leave a comment

5 things to do instead I was having a really bad stretch at work. A cold, rainy week had left my students stir-crazy, loud, and barely manageable. I’d had an encounter with an angry parent (whose child wasn’t even in my class). And my administrator still hadn’t responded to several requests for basic supplies we…

Finding Consistency in an Inconsistent Life

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 29, 2016June 9, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Blog, Life Management, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself commitment, consistency, quality, self-care, self-discipline Leave a comment

Moving forward even if I’m doing it wrong I just read this article about successful blogging, and like every similar piece I’ve seen, this one contained a strong word of advice about being consistent. This makes sense: people tuned into a particular person or resource like to be able to count on regular contact, updates, and materials….

Another Perfectionism Statistic

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 15, 2016June 11, 2022 Counselors, General Interest, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Taking care of yourself dealing with decline, depression, handling failure, perfectionism, suicide Leave a comment

An issue that will always need attention As a longtime fan, I was reading about the recent death of Keith Emerson (keyboard player for Emerson, Lake and Palmer), still feeling devastated by recent losses of a number of well-known people who have held a place in my life for many years. Of the numerous comments reflecting on this…

Examples of Some New Ways of Thinking

By Dr. Jane BluesteinDecember 9, 2012June 9, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Intervening negative behavior, Mental Health, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority authority relationships, constructive thinking, creating more positive thinking patterns, impact of others, personal relationships, respect for others, responsibility, rules and boundaries, self-care, victim thinking, win-lose vs win-win Leave a comment

Transforming old messages into more constructive thoughts Old message: If only my students (or kids, spouse, boss, parents, the government, etc.) would change, my life would be better. New message: If my current behaviors (or thinking patterns) aren’t working for me, I am willing to change them. Old message: Other people’s actions, words and attitudes create my feelings…