5 Reasons Perfectionists Never Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions

It’s not because you’re weak! “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” —Japanese proverb The statistics aren’t promising: Only 8 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Since my resolutions don’t seem to change much from one year to the next, with only varying degrees of progress each time, I…

37 Ways to Spread Love On Random Acts Of Kindness Day (& Every Other Day, Too!)

Share your good vibes with the world. by Dr. Jane Bluestein No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop Think of the times you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s courtesy, thoughtfulness, or patience — and how good it felt to get a call from an old friend or when that…

Life Interrupted

When Priorities Make an Unexpected Shift in Your Life In the spring of 2018, my mom had what the medical community calls an “event.” She went to the hospital for what I understood to be a routine endoscopy to deal with some GI issues. During the procedure, she had a stroke that left her unresponsive,…

Getting Through the “Gimme” Season

Tips for joyful giving (and staying sane) The hints start dropping early. Visions of sugarplums give way to images of the hottest toys, trends, and technology. Lists, links, and spreadsheets are emailed, tweeted, and texted. I want. I want. I want. Our inboxes overflow with gift ideas. We get wound up by the promises of glittery commercials…

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Letting go of pain, stress, and suffering Note from Dr. Bluestein: Many of you know how picky I am about what I include on this site. This is a piece I came across a while ago and have been wanting to include it here ever since. (Included with permission from the author, Luminita Saviuc.) This list strongly…

Icelandic “Pads” on the Back™ Template

Download the “Pads” on the Back™ Template in Icelandic by Dr. Jane Bluestein & Lynn Collins, Ph.D. These are two of the eight different messages on the PDF. By clicking on the link below you agree to keep the copyright notice on this page and to distribute or share these materials for free. Free download: Get…

Presentation: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging our relationships, making us sick, and holding our happiness hostage Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Perfectionism may sound like a good thing, but it’s entirely different from the more realistic and achievable healthy pursuit of excellence. Working diligently toward improvement, learning, and growth is also far less destructive (and…

Book: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging your relationships, making you sick, and holding your happiness hostage. Have you ever: * compared yourself to others and seemed to come up short? * felt like no matter how much you did or how hard you tried, it wasn’t enough? * set unrealistic, even harmful standards for…

6 Manières de Prendre plus de Temps pour Vous-même

Par Jane Bluestein Ph.D. • Quand vos enfants sont encore petits, commencez à renforcer leur indépendance pour qu’ils apprennent à vous donner de l’espace. Commencer par passer une minute dans une pièce séparée—ou moins si nécessaire. Ajoutez un peu plus de temps chaque jour, jusqu’à ce que vous sentiez que vous avez atteint une pause…