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Category: Perfectionism

What is Optimal Self-Esteem?

By Robert ReasonerJuly 6, 2022July 6, 2022 Categories: Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Life Management, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Recognition and Reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth Tags: approval, authentic self, autonomy, competence, ecosystem, feedback, improvement, power, progress, seeking approval, self, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-motivation, sense of worth Leave a comment

Egosystem or Ecosystem? This piece was contributed by Robert W. Reasoner, former president of the International Council for Self-Esteem. It appeared in the council’s Research Bulletin #1, May 20, 2006 It is generally accepted that people seek to maintain, enhance, and protect their self-esteem. Although there may be cultural variability in its expression, the tendency to seek self-esteem is…

8 Ways To Start Being Your Authentic Self

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Categories: Counselors, General Interest, Life Management, Mental Health, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself Tags: authentic self, authenticity, avoiding toxic people, being valued, confidence, old messages, seeking approval, self-care, true self, useful feedback Leave a comment

You can finally stop faking it! When we’re young, our survival depends on the approval of others. Most of us grow up looking for ways to fit in, which often means living up to the expectations others have for us—rather than being our authentic selves. In general, the need for approval drops off over the…

Presentation: Perfectionism—What’s it Costing Our Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 26, 2016June 1, 2022 Categories: Counselors, Cultural Changes, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Health and Safety, Increasing Positivity, Parenting, Perfectionism, Tolerance and Respect Leave a comment

The high cost of the pressure to be perfect What’s wrong with perfectionism? Everything! Here are the causes and consequences of perfectionism—plus a few suggestions for potential “cures.” Some young people continually strive for excellence, trying to do their best, willing to make mistakes and learn from them, and take on challenges to grow their interests. Others chase perfection,…

Another Perfectionism Statistic

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 15, 2016June 11, 2022 Categories: Counselors, General Interest, Mental Health, Overcoming obstacles, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Taking care of yourself Tags: dealing with decline, depression, handling failure, perfectionism, suicide Leave a comment

An issue that will always need attention As a longtime fan, I was reading about the recent death of Keith Emerson (keyboard player for Emerson, Lake and Palmer), still feeling devastated by recent losses of a number of well-known people who have held a place in my life for many years. Of the numerous comments reflecting on this…

Making a Mistake in Front of Your Class

By Chick Moorman and Thomas HallerMarch 20, 2015May 2, 2022 Categories: Educators, Leadership, Perfectionism, Professional growth, Teaching 2 Comments

A defining moment in every teacher’s life How do you handle mistakes you make in front of your class? Some important lessons these two authors learned in observing teachers. In Anchorage, Alaska, a first-year teacher made a spelling error on the board during the first week of school. As often happens in these kinds of…

Examples of Some New Ways of Thinking

By Dr. Jane BluesteinDecember 9, 2012June 9, 2022 Categories: Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Intervening negative behavior, Mental Health, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority Tags: authority relationships, constructive thinking, creating more positive thinking patterns, impact of others, personal relationships, respect for others, responsibility, rules and boundaries, self-care, victim thinking, win-lose vs win-win Leave a comment

Transforming old messages into more constructive thoughts Old message: If only my students (or kids, spouse, boss, parents, the government, etc.) would change, my life would be better. New message: If my current behaviors (or thinking patterns) aren’t working for me, I am willing to change them. Old message: Other people’s actions, words and attitudes create my feelings…

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