My Parents Don’t Trust Me!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 13, 2022 Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Students, Win-win parenting authority being reliable, being responsible, establishing trust, getting parents to trust you, rebuilding trust Leave a comment

Helping kids establish (or re-establish) trust with parents Excerpted and adapted from High School’s Not Forever by Dr. Jane Bluestein and Eric Katz, MSAC (2005, Health Communications, Inc, Deerfield Beach, FL). This piece was written for teens and young people, and is included on this site for parents, teachers, counselors, coaches, and others who work with…

Tired of Nagging Your Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJanuary 6, 2019July 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority autonomy, boundaries, choices, cooperation, encouragement, follow through, gotcha, nagging, opposition, parental authority, positive connection, positive consequences, positivity, power struggles, privileges, saying no to kids, threats, validation, win-win parenting Leave a comment

Here’s What you Can Do Instead You’ve probably heard them all. “Awww, Mom!!” “Do I have to.” Or my all-time favorite, “You can’t make me!” Or maybe your kids’ routines are more along the lines of pouting, arguing, ignoring you (or agreeing and then ignoring you). Either way, in the day-to-day dealings with children, there…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 30, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Overcoming obstacles, Problem solving, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority agendas for others, assumptions, autonomy, being present, being right, blame, change, conflict, consciousness, control, criticism, dependence, double standards, expectations, fear of abandonment, judgment, listening, making others wrong, overreacting, perfectionism, personal growth, reactivity, relationships, respect, shaming 2 Comments

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Checklist: Characteristics of Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 16, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself, Win-win parenting authority 2 Comments

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with the children in your life (or even other adults in your life). If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I…

9 Ways to be More Proactive

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 14, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Parenting, Parenting, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

Thinking ahead, avoiding problems • Write down your parenting goals. Be specific about behaviors, principles and long-term outcomes that are important to you. It’s easier to anticipate, plan and prevent problems when you know what you’re trying to achieve! • Involve your children in discussions of your family’s goals, values and priorities. • Review your parenting goals…

How Do You Parent?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 14, 2015June 9, 2022 Discipline, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

Noticing patterns in parenting styles Let’s examine your current parenting patterns and values. In each pair of statements, mark the one that you identify with most strongly, the one that “feels” most like you. ___ I respect the fact that my child has different tastes than I do. ___ I am often embarrassed by my…

Presentation: Win-Win Parenting

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJuly 17, 2014May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Counselors, Discipline, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Presentation, Presentation for parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Formerly called Parents in a Pressure Cooker, this program offers dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment.

Curfew Blues?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinSeptember 4, 2013May 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority curfew, negotiating agreement, positive consequences, securing agreement from kids, seeking win-win outcomes, setting boundaries, setting limits Leave a comment

Time to Agree about Time Do you get pushback from your kids when you try to enforce a curfew time? If so, you’re in good company. This is an area of conflict for many families and very often, the automatic response to a child’s negative response—whether sulking, arguing, complaining, or flat-out defiance—tends to result in

Good Parenting or Effective Parenting?

By Tammy CoxJune 9, 2013May 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Win-win parenting authority alternatives to control, controlling children, effective parenting, guiding children, kind and firm parenting, parenting, teaching self-control 2 Comments

What is the Difference? Good parents control their children. Right? When a child is throwing a temper tantrum at the supermarket, everyone is thinking, “If they were good parents, they’d control that kid!” Well, perhaps not everyone thinks that, but when it’s our child and we are the ones on center stage, it usually feels…

Is Control the Goal? with Tammy Cox

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 9, 2013May 8, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

The high price of trying to control children Episode Summary: Power is an intrinsic need we all have from day one! When it comes to adult-child relationships, power struggles are consistently at the top of the list. We all know that kids need limits and structure to grow into responsible adults, but there is also an…