Tired of Nagging Your Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJanuary 6, 2019July 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority autonomy, boundaries, choices, cooperation, encouragement, follow through, gotcha, nagging, opposition, parental authority, positive connection, positive consequences, positivity, power struggles, privileges, saying no to kids, threats, validation, win-win parenting Leave a comment

Here’s What you Can Do Instead You’ve probably heard them all. “Awww, Mom!!” “Do I have to.” Or my all-time favorite, “You can’t make me!” Or maybe your kids’ routines are more along the lines of pouting, arguing, ignoring you (or agreeing and then ignoring you). Either way, in the day-to-day dealings with children, there…

Getting Through the “Gimme” Season

By Dr. Jane BluesteinDecember 8, 2016April 30, 2022 Behavior Management, Discipline, Discipline, Gratitude and inspiration, Parenting, Parenting, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself bad reasons for buying, boundaries and holiday spending, gift giving, holiday shopping, limits on spending, presents, shopping for your kids Leave a comment

Tips for joyful giving (and staying sane) The hints start dropping early. Visions of sugarplums give way to images of the hottest toys, trends, and technology. Lists, links, and spreadsheets are emailed, tweeted, and texted. I want. I want. I want. Our inboxes overflow with gift ideas. We get wound up by the promises of glittery commercials…

Checklist: Characteristics of Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 16, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself, Win-win parenting authority 2 Comments

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with the children in your life (or even other adults in your life). If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I…

9 Ways to be More Proactive

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 14, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Parenting, Parenting, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

Thinking ahead, avoiding problems • Write down your parenting goals. Be specific about behaviors, principles and long-term outcomes that are important to you. It’s easier to anticipate, plan and prevent problems when you know what you’re trying to achieve! • Involve your children in discussions of your family’s goals, values and priorities. • Review your parenting goals…

How Do You Parent?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 14, 2015June 9, 2022 Discipline, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

Noticing patterns in parenting styles Let’s examine your current parenting patterns and values. In each pair of statements, mark the one that you identify with most strongly, the one that “feels” most like you. ___ I respect the fact that my child has different tastes than I do. ___ I am often embarrassed by my…

Presentation: Win-Win Parenting

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJuly 17, 2014May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Counselors, Discipline, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Presentation, Presentation for parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Formerly called Parents in a Pressure Cooker, this program offers dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment.

Curfew Blues?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinSeptember 4, 2013May 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority curfew, negotiating agreement, positive consequences, securing agreement from kids, seeking win-win outcomes, setting boundaries, setting limits Leave a comment

Time to Agree about Time Do you get pushback from your kids when you try to enforce a curfew time? If so, you’re in good company. This is an area of conflict for many families and very often, the automatic response to a child’s negative response—whether sulking, arguing, complaining, or flat-out defiance—tends to result in

5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Parents

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 31, 2013May 7, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

And why they are better than rules Boundaries are tools for building cooperation in relationships, for letting others know what you want, and for letting them know which options are available to them (for getting what they want). Set boundaries when you want behaviors to change and wish to avoid negative, stressful behaviors such as…

“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 28, 2013December 1, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Discipline, Discipline, Educators, General Interest, Increasing Positivity, Intervening negative behavior, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Self-care and Inspiration, Taking care of yourself, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority avoid conflicts, boundaries, communicating with adults, communicating with kids, de-escalating conflicts, dealing with kids, negotiating agreements, self-care, setting boundaries, teachable moments, unacceptable behavior Leave a comment

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for…

6 Reasons to Not Ask “Why”- For Parents

By Dr. Jane BluesteinDecember 10, 2012May 9, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Counselors, Discipline, Intervening negative behavior, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

No more excuses! This post is about not asking for excuses by asking your kids to explain why they did something wrong or forgot to do something they were supposed to do (or had agreed to do). This is a common pattern that will create problems and can undermine your authority. Here’s why asking “why”…