Presentation: “You Can’t Make Me!”

Using boundaries to build responsibility, cooperation, and mutual respect Presentation for educators or parents by Dr. Jane Bluestein Few things are as aggravating or exhausting as power struggles with kids. If you find yourself nagging, arguing or threatening, being ignored by your children (or students) or having your authority challenged, then

Ways to be an Effective Mentor

This list was originally developed to help parents mentor their children. The suggestions listed below are equally relevant to mentor relationships with students, employees, and other adults. • Accept your children unconditionally, just the way they are. Begin with them wherever they

Ways to Build IRRESPONSIBILITY in Children

Things you can do to reinforce children’s irresponsible behavior • Lie for them. • Make excuses for their behavior. Correct (or pay for) their mistakes for them. • Model a lack of responsibility, commitment, and follow-through yourself. • Refuse to believe that they are capable of doing what they’ve been accused of doing.

Parenting Teens

How to Draw the Line Counselors know that when parents set clear boundaries, they take care of their teens and themselves. 

Positive Consequences

A very different approach Here’s a new spin on the notion of “consequences,” a term familiar to every educator. But rather than looking at the negative outcome of behavioral choices your students make, let’s

The Challenge of Setting Boundaries

A Win-Win Alternative to an Authoritarian or Permissive Approach Few of us are especially adept at setting boundaries with anyone, and for good reason. Let’s back up a bit. When you were growing up, were you told that other people’s needs were more important than yours? Were you rewarded for self-sacrificing and people-pleasing? Were you…

Questions, Not Answers

Benefits of asking questions instead of giving answers These points are offered as an alternative to advice giving. While written especially with children in mind, I have found using questions (along with a bit of genuine empathy) as effective tools to support adults as well. • Questions help children explore dimensions of a problem. •…