Is Control the Goal? with Tammy Cox

The high price of trying to control children Episode Summary: Power is an intrinsic need we all have from day one! When it comes to adult-child relationships, power struggles are consistently at the top of the list. We all know that kids need limits and structure to grow into responsible adults, but there is also an…

Thumbs up, thumbs down

The importance of meaningful feedback My husband just came in to read a bit of consumer feedback on a product he was researching. The book received rave reviews but the reviewer gave the author three out of five stars because “the box was dented.” We’ve all seen this kind of feedback. Excellent restaurants downgraded because…

Armenian (Western) “Pads” on the Back

Download the “Pads” on the Back™ Template in Western Armenian by Dr. Jane Bluestein & Lynn Collins, Ph.D. These are two of the eight different messages on the PDF. By clicking on the link below you agree to keep the copyright notice on this page and to distribute or share these materials for free. Click…

Armenian (Eastern) “Pads” on the Back

Download the “Pads” on the Back™ Template in Eastern Armenian by Dr. Jane Bluestein & Lynn Collins, Ph.D. These are two of the eight different messages on the PDF. By clicking on the link below you agree to keep the copyright notice on this page and to distribute or share these materials for free. Click…

5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Parents

And why they are better than rules Boundaries are tools for building cooperation in relationships, for letting others know what you want, and for letting them know which options are available to them (for getting what they want). Set boundaries when you want behaviors to change and wish to avoid negative, stressful behaviors such as…

“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for…

10 Dangers of Encouraging Obedience and People-Pleasing

It’s not as desirable as it sounds! Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them. —Abraham* So many of the parents and teachers who come to my presentations (especially ones like “You Can’t Make Me!” and Dealing with Difficult Students,…

What’s Wrong with I-Messages?

Problems with a popular formula © 1991, 1999, 2003, 2013 This article was originally written for an issue of Families in Recovery, a parenting magazine that is no longer in print. Although the examples primarily feature parent-child interactions, the dynamics, issues, and alternatives are applicable to any relationship. A man in one of my workshops…

How to Avoid Meltdowns in Public

Practical tips for preventing (and handling) tantrums Most every parent fears that inevitable moment in the store when all eyes are on them because their adorable child is having a full-fledged temper tantrum.  Many parents will go to great lengths to avoid having these meltdowns in public, even giving into every unreasonable demand the non-rational…

Bosnian “Pads” on the Back™ Template

Download the “Pads” on the Back™ Template in Bosnian by Dr. Jane Bluestein & Lynn Collins, Ph.D. These are two of the eight different messages on the PDF. By clicking on the link below you agree to keep the copyright notice on this page and to distribute or share these materials for free. Click here to…