Tired of Nagging Your Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJanuary 6, 2019July 4, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Rules and Boundaries, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win authority, Win-win parenting authority autonomy, boundaries, choices, cooperation, encouragement, follow through, gotcha, nagging, opposition, parental authority, positive connection, positive consequences, positivity, power struggles, privileges, saying no to kids, threats, validation, win-win parenting Leave a comment

Here’s What you Can Do Instead You’ve probably heard them all. “Awww, Mom!!” “Do I have to.” Or my all-time favorite, “You can’t make me!” Or maybe your kids’ routines are more along the lines of pouting, arguing, ignoring you (or agreeing and then ignoring you). Either way, in the day-to-day dealings with children, there…

Dream Big!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinNovember 16, 2017June 10, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Increasing Positivity, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Social and Emotional Growth "i can", creativity, dream big, dreaming, emotional support, encouragement, fantasies, inspiration, listening, modeling, positivity, protectiveness, supporting children, unconditional love Leave a comment

Encouraging your children’s fantasies—and their future! It’s something a child hears often: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A simple, even rhetorical question. But for children, this is a serious inquiry that can also be a great opportunity to share their ambitions, dreams, and creative longings. Even if the answers vary…

Presentation: Motivating the Unmotivated

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 25, 2016June 1, 2022 Avoiding power struggles, Building responsibility, Classroom management, Counselors, Creating community, Differentiating Instruction, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, Increasing Positivity, Learning styles, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Non-traditional learners, Parents, Recognition and reinforcement, School climate, Social and Emotional Growth, Win-win authority classroom climate, consequences, difficult students, effective instruction, motivating students, reduce indifference, student engagement, student success, unmotivated students Leave a comment

Getting past defenses, disinterest, and disengagement Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Of all the challenges teachers face, the one mentioned most consistently over the years has been, “How do I engage kids who aren’t motivated and just don’t care?” Few things are more frustrated that having your planning and enthusiasm met with groans, shrugs, or eye…

Motivation vs. Manipulation

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 1, 2016May 1, 2022 Feedback and encouragement, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Recognition and reinforcement, Teaching authority relationships, autonomy, choices, i-messages, manipulation, motivation, obedience vs. cooperation, people pleasing, positive consequences, praise, purpose, recognition, reinforcement 2 Comments

There is a difference You see the kids on task and behaving, and it’s natural to want to reinforce what they’re doing. By the same token, the kids who are dragging their feet or not doing their work (or chores) may need a bit of a fire lit under them. There are positive and effective…

Checklist: Characteristics of Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 16, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself, Win-win parenting authority 2 Comments

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with the children in your life (or even other adults in your life). If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I…

I-Messages: The Handout

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 15, 2015June 9, 2022 Counselors, Educators, General Interest, Health and Safety, Intervening negative behavior, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Problem solving, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself Leave a comment

More information about a destructive communication pattern This handout was developed to accompany a free online article, “What’s Wrong with ‘I-Messages’?” I first wrote about the problems with using this formula to try to get people to assess (and shift) their behavior in 1991. Evidence based on outcomes of using this formula has only strengthened my opinion. There…

How Do You Parent?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 14, 2015June 9, 2022 Discipline, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

Noticing patterns in parenting styles Let’s examine your current parenting patterns and values. In each pair of statements, mark the one that you identify with most strongly, the one that “feels” most like you. ___ I respect the fact that my child has different tastes than I do. ___ I am often embarrassed by my…

Presentation: Win-Win Parenting

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJuly 17, 2014May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Counselors, Discipline, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Presentation, Presentation for parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Formerly called Parents in a Pressure Cooker, this program offers dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment.

“Making Someone Wrong”

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 23, 2014May 3, 2022 Building responsibility, Counselors, Discipline, Educators, General Interest, Increasing Positivity, Intervening negative behavior, Intervening negative behavior, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, Taking care of yourself alternative to criticism, alternatives to anger, alternatives to impatience, blaming, boundaries, calm response, criticism, culprits, expectation, impatience, justifiable anger alternatives, labeling, making people wrong, making wrong, positive behavior, responding in anger, self-care, self-care in relationships, shaming 2 Comments

What does that really mean? In what has become a bit of a family joke, my husband and I can spend the entire day together in the house. Yet, regardless of how much time we’ve been talking or interacting, something happens the minute I reach for my keys to leave for a meeting, class, or…

Presentation: Bouncing Back: Resiliency

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 24, 2013May 3, 2022 Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Problem solving, Recognition and reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Teaching Leave a comment

Building Resiliency and Persistence in Our Students Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein How often do we see students struggling with a new challenge and just give up? Some don’t even try, and can invent all sorts of excuses—sometimes with their parents’ support—to avoid the risk we all need to take when we’re learning something new….