What is Optimal Self-Esteem?

By Robert ReasonerJuly 6, 2022July 6, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Life Management, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Recognition and Reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth approval, authentic self, autonomy, competence, ecosystem, feedback, improvement, power, progress, seeking approval, self, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-motivation, sense of worth Leave a comment

Egosystem or Ecosystem? This piece was contributed by Robert W. Reasoner, former president of the International Council for Self-Esteem. It appeared in the council’s Research Bulletin #1, May 20, 2006 It is generally accepted that people seek to maintain, enhance, and protect their self-esteem. Although there may be cultural variability in its expression, the tendency to seek self-esteem is…

Bully-Proofing Kids

By Dr. Michele BorbaJune 11, 2022June 12, 2022 Counselors, Creating community, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, Health and Safety, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized building independence, bully-proofing, bullying, comebacks to bullies, confidence, dignity, kids and power, reducing vulnerability, strategies for dealing with bullies, teaching assertiveness Leave a comment

Real strategies to teach kids so they are less likely to be bullied Adapted from an article sent to me by Dr. Michele Borba in 2011. Some of the language was modified to shift away from the term “victim” to emphasize a more self-empowered term: “target.” And although this article was originally written for parents,…

Stop Telling Me How Lucky I Am!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 2, 2022June 2, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself acceptance, emotions, feeling feelings, feelings, friendship, gratitude, gratitude as a drug, hearing me, listening, processing emotions, reality, respect, suppressed feelings, validation Leave a comment

5 things to do instead I was having a really bad stretch at work. A cold, rainy week had left my students stir-crazy, loud, and barely manageable. I’d had an encounter with an angry parent (whose child wasn’t even in my class). And my administrator still hadn’t responded to several requests for basic supplies we…

Dream Big!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinNovember 16, 2017June 10, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Increasing Positivity, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Social and Emotional Growth "i can", creativity, dream big, dreaming, emotional support, encouragement, fantasies, inspiration, listening, modeling, positivity, protectiveness, supporting children, unconditional love Leave a comment

Encouraging your children’s fantasies—and their future! It’s something a child hears often: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A simple, even rhetorical question. But for children, this is a serious inquiry that can also be a great opportunity to share their ambitions, dreams, and creative longings. Even if the answers vary…

Presentation: Perfectionism—What’s it Costing Our Kids?

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 26, 2016June 1, 2022 Counselors, Cultural Changes, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Health and Safety, Increasing Positivity, Parenting, Perfectionism, Tolerance and Respect Leave a comment

The high cost of the pressure to be perfect What’s wrong with perfectionism? Everything! Here are the causes and consequences of perfectionism—plus a few suggestions for potential “cures.” Some young people continually strive for excellence, trying to do their best, willing to make mistakes and learn from them, and take on challenges to grow their interests. Others chase perfection,…

Motivation vs. Manipulation

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMarch 1, 2016May 1, 2022 Feedback and encouragement, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Recognition and reinforcement, Teaching authority relationships, autonomy, choices, i-messages, manipulation, motivation, obedience vs. cooperation, people pleasing, positive consequences, praise, purpose, recognition, reinforcement 2 Comments

There is a difference You see the kids on task and behaving, and it’s natural to want to reinforce what they’re doing. By the same token, the kids who are dragging their feet or not doing their work (or chores) may need a bit of a fire lit under them. There are positive and effective…

Checklist: Characteristics of Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

By Dr. Jane BluesteinMay 16, 2015May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, Taking care of yourself, Win-win parenting authority 2 Comments

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with the children in your life (or even other adults in your life). If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I…

Presentation: Win-Win Parenting

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJuly 17, 2014May 2, 2022 Avoiding power struggles with your kids, Counselors, Discipline, Discipline, Feedback and encouragement, Intervening negative behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parenting, Parents, Presentation, Presentation for parents, Recognition and Reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, Win-win parenting authority Leave a comment

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Formerly called Parents in a Pressure Cooker, this program offers dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment.

Playing Well With Others

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 14, 2014May 2, 2022 Creativity and independence, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, Learning styles, Mentorship, Non-traditional learners creativity, friendship skills, independence, learning preferences, learning styles, non-traditional learners, play well with others, SEL, social and emotional learning, social skills, student social skills, working alone Leave a comment

Not all it’s cracked up to be When I was in second grade, I got a minus next to “plays well with others.” In my family, this was a terrible thing, worse even than getting a bad grade in the content areas. (This also wasn’t allowed, but somehow getting a “B”—the equivalent of failure in…

Presentation: Bouncing Back: Resiliency

By Dr. Jane BluesteinOctober 24, 2013May 3, 2022 Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, Motivating cooperation, Motivating your kids, Parents, Problem solving, Recognition and reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Teaching Leave a comment

Building Resiliency and Persistence in Our Students Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein How often do we see students struggling with a new challenge and just give up? Some don’t even try, and can invent all sorts of excuses—sometimes with their parents’ support—to avoid the risk we all need to take when we’re learning something new….