37 Ways to Spread Love On Random Acts Of Kindness Day (& Every Other Day, Too!)

Share your good vibes with the world. by Dr. Jane Bluestein No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop Think of the times you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s courtesy, thoughtfulness, or patience — and how good it felt to get a call from an old friend or when that…

Dream Big!

Encouraging Your Children’s Fantasies—and Their Future! It’s something a child hears often: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A simple, even rhetorical question. But for children, this is a serious inquiry that can also be a great opportunity to share their ambitions, dreams, and creative longings. Even if the answers vary…

“Constructive Differencing” Notes and Highlights

How to disagree and still maintain contact The following offers additional resource material related to the conversation with Dr. Jared Scherz, (audio file/podcast) recorded on Dec. 14, 2011. The main points include: One of the most stress-producing obstacles in any relationship is the need to be right when it requires others to be wrong. Differences…

Ways to Help your Child Survive your Divorce

Beyond damage control… Here are some tips to reduce the stress and anxiety you children may experience during and after your divorce. • Maintain a civil relationship with your spouse* during the divorce and afterwards. Treat each other with tolerance and respect. • Don’t badmouth your spouse to your kids regardless of your feelings for him…

Presentation: Perfectionism—What’s it Costing Our Kids?

The high cost of the pressure to be perfect What’s wrong with perfectionism? Everything! Here are the causes and consequences of perfectionism—plus a few suggestions for potential “cures.” Some young people continually strive for excellence, trying to do their best, willing to make mistakes and learn from them, and take on challenges to grow their interests. Others chase perfection,…

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Letting go of pain, stress, and suffering Note from Dr. Bluestein: Many of you know how picky I am about what I include on this site. This is a piece I came across a while ago and have been wanting to include it here ever since. This list strongly resonates with concepts I’ve been promoting in…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Does Your Confidence Propel or Sabotage You?

How confidence affects our happiness There are two different kinds of confidence a person may embrace. One comes from a strong, quiet strength and the second type comes from a fear-based confidence. Quiet confidence is an inner strength that when attained doesn’t have to be talked about or placed on a résumé; it shows in a…

Starting Fresh

Beginning a new year. Or a new day. Note: I started this post on Feb. 8, 2014 and, like many things I started during the time I was working on the perfectionism book, lost track of it before I finished. I think the idea of coming back more than 2 years later to complete this…

Presentation: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging our relationships, making us sick, and holding our happiness hostage Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Perfectionism may sound like a good thing, but it’s entirely different from the more realistic and achievable healthy pursuit of excellence. Working diligently toward improvement, learning, and growth is also far less destructive (and…