Archive | Health and Safety

Presentation: Perfectionism—What’s it Costing Our Kids?

The high cost of the pressure to be perfect What’s wrong with perfectionism? Everything! Here are the causes and consequences of perfectionism—plus a few suggestions for potential “cures.” Some young people continually strive for excellence, trying to do their best, willing to make mistakes and learn from them, and take on challenges to grow their interests. Others chase perfection, […]

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Bouncing Back

The art of resiliency Excerpt from “Emotional Safety: Personal and Character Development,” from chapter 15 of Creating Emotionally Safe Schools by Dr. Jane Bluestein © 2001, Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL. This excerpt was extracted from the manuscript for this book and may be slightly different from the actual printed copy. The entire bibliography of Creating Emotionally Safe Schools is […]

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Presentation: The Perfection Deception

Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging our relationships, making us sick, and holding our happiness hostage Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Perfectionism may sound like a good thing, but it’s entirely different from the more realistic and achievable healthy pursuit of excellence. Working diligently toward improvement, learning, and growth is also far less destructive (and […]

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I-Messages: The Handout

More information about a destructive communication pattern This handout was developed to accompany a free online article, “What’s Wrong with ‘I-Messages’?” I first wrote about the problems with using this formula to try to get people to change their behavior in 1991. Evidence based on outcomes of using this formula has only strengthened my opinion. There are […]

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Preventing Bullying in the Digital Age

Understanding and managing cyberspace aggression Guest blogger Amy Williams shares what to watch for and how to prevent meanness in the digital age. The ripple effect of bullying can be felt across all lanes of life. Similar to raging drivers on the road, aggressive Internet users can create a threatening environment for the people around them. […]

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Drunken Danse Macabre

A tale of two departed alcoholics John A chronic alcoholic, a phone call, the police, and devastating news: the formula of tragedy. Found dead in his apartment at forty-seven years of age, John’s death was not a surprise. His lifelong alcohol and drug induced pseudo-nirvana had ended. Any hope for a spiritual awakening, possibility of […]

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Obedient vs. Cooperative Behavior

There is a difference! As you can imagine, my perceptions and ideas about children’s behavior have evolved over the years, including shifts in the vocabulary and conceptual framework I use in my writing and seminars. These changes have been especially evident in relation to the concepts I explore in this post. Because it’s so easy […]

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Non-Supportive Responses to Avoid

Yes, these really do make things worse! If people trust us enough to share an experience that has had an emotional impact on them, we usually do the most good when we can respond with empathy and support. Unfortunately, the following non-supportive or negative responses are so common and pervasive in our culture that avoiding […]

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The Myth of the Self-Esteem “Myth”

What self-esteem is, and is not On this page you will find a comparison between the characteristics of someone with a healthy, functional sense of self-worth vs. the characteristics of someone whose sense of worth, value, esteem, and deservingness is weak or low. See below for additional information. Self-esteem clearly goes beyond simply “feeling good […]

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Stress and the Brain

Fact Sheet: The impact of stress on learning and behavior Here are a few things to remember about the impact of stress on the brain, and on an individual’s ability to function effectively— academically and behaviorally— in a learning environment. While originally developed for educators, this information is also relevant to parents, and applies to […]

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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Friendships

Learning to tell the difference Think about someone in your life who leaves an open space for you to be yourself. No one is more valuable. I would rather have a pillar of trust in my life than a pillar of strength. —Deepak Chopra Do you have friends who leave you feeling happy and uplifted? […]

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Perfectionism with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt

What’s Bad About Being Too Good? Episode Summary: In a culture that praises and rewards excellence and accomplishment, how can we avoid crossing the line to a dangerous desire for perfection? Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt about what perfectionism is, how it can negatively affect our social and emotional health, and the difference […]

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Bullying Podcast with Stan Davis

Learn what kids say works best, and what makes things worse Episode Summary: Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with author and retired therapist Stan Davis about the true value of the advice kids receive and the interventions they experience when they experience mistreatment at the hands of their peers.  (more…)

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Are We Still Guilty of Gender Stereotyping?

A self-assessment survey for teachers, childcare workers, and others Ted, a 32-year-old math teacher, meets up with Jack, a 38-year-old PE teacher and Joyce, a 28-year-old science teacher in the hall on the first day of school. As they were discussing the recent departure of Debbie, the former school librarian, Ted suddenly notices Joan, the […]

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Prefectionism vs. Healthy Pursuit of Excellence

Explaining the difference The following information was excerpted from Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? by Dr. Miriam Renée Adderholdt and reprinted with her permission. Perfectionists reach for impossible goals. Pursuers of Excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of Excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists […]

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Jane Bluestein Discusses Emotionally Safe Schools

Interview by Kate Bedford ©2001 Kate Bedford, Six Seconds Jane Bluestein is an award winning author and speaker. Her newest book, Creating Emotionally Safe Schools, is a comprehensive look at how we can make any educational institution safer— from an emotional, academic, behavioral, social, and physical standpoint. Formerly an inner-city classroom teacher, crisis-intervention counselor, and […]

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The Dignity Stance

Tips for responding to meanness or bullying by Naomi Drew Note from Jane Bluestein: Ms. Drew recommends teaching kids the following strategies. I think this information would also be valuable for adults in a similar situation. (more…)

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