What is Optimal Self-Esteem?

By Robert ReasonerJuly 6, 2022July 6, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Life Management, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perfectionism, Recognition and Reinforcement, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth approval, authentic self, autonomy, competence, ecosystem, feedback, improvement, power, progress, seeking approval, self, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-motivation, sense of worth Leave a comment

Egosystem or Ecosystem? This piece was contributed by Robert W. Reasoner, former president of the International Council for Self-Esteem. It appeared in the council’s Research Bulletin #1, May 20, 2006 It is generally accepted that people seek to maintain, enhance, and protect their self-esteem. Although there may be cultural variability in its expression, the tendency to seek self-esteem is…

My Parents Don’t Trust Me!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 13, 2022 Building responsibility, Counselors, Motivating cooperation, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Students, Win-win parenting authority being reliable, being responsible, establishing trust, getting parents to trust you, rebuilding trust Leave a comment

Helping kids establish (or re-establish) trust with parents Excerpted and adapted from High School’s Not Forever by Dr. Jane Bluestein and Eric Katz, MSAC (2005, Health Communications, Inc, Deerfield Beach, FL). This piece was written for teens and young people, and is included on this site for parents, teachers, counselors, coaches, and others who work with…

Bully-Proofing Kids

By Dr. Michele BorbaJune 11, 2022June 12, 2022 Counselors, Creating community, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, Health and Safety, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized building independence, bully-proofing, bullying, comebacks to bullies, confidence, dignity, kids and power, reducing vulnerability, strategies for dealing with bullies, teaching assertiveness Leave a comment

Real strategies to teach kids so they are less likely to be bullied Adapted from an article sent to me by Dr. Michele Borba in 2011. Some of the language was modified to shift away from the term “victim” to emphasize a more self-empowered term: “target.” And although this article was originally written for parents,…

Stop Telling Me How Lucky I Am!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinJune 2, 2022June 2, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Life Management, Mental Health, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, SEL- Social and Emotional Learning, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself acceptance, emotions, feeling feelings, feelings, friendship, gratitude, gratitude as a drug, hearing me, listening, processing emotions, reality, respect, suppressed feelings, validation Leave a comment

5 things to do instead I was having a really bad stretch at work. A cold, rainy week had left my students stir-crazy, loud, and barely manageable. I’d had an encounter with an angry parent (whose child wasn’t even in my class). And my administrator still hadn’t responded to several requests for basic supplies we…

Dr. Bluestein’s Original Reprint Series

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 28, 2022November 21, 2022 Behavior Management, Books, Bookstore, Counselors, Culture and Community, Educators, Parenting, Parents beginning teachers, Books by Dr Jane Bluestein, career satisfaction, depression, Dr. Jane Bluestein's books, gratitude, handwriting, healthy families, jouirnaling, mental health, miracles and gratitude, parenting, perfectionism, positive relationships, school safety, school success, self-harm, successful teaching, teaching career, win-win parenting Leave a comment

New Life for Old (and Not-so-Old) Books In the world of publishing, it is not unusual for books to have a natural life cycle. When two of my publishers downsized, several of my books went out of print. Getting the rights back to this content has allowed me to set up this new Original Reprint…

The Beauty of Losing Control

By Dr. Jane BluesteinApril 26, 2022April 26, 2022 Avoiding burnout, Avoiding power struggles, Beginning Teachers, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Building responsibility, Classroom management, Culture and Community, Discipline, Increasing Positivity, Intervening negative behavior, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating cooperation, Recognition and reinforcement, Rules and Boundaries, School climate, Uncategorized, Win-win authority Leave a comment

An effective way to “be in charge”! Note: This is one of the very first articles I wrote for publication—in this case, for Instructor Magazine, back in 1985. The language and approach I currently use in my work has changed significantly over the years. For example, I rarely ever use the term “obedience” anymore because I have found…

Book: The Beginning Teacher’s Survival Guide

By Dr. Jane BluesteinAugust 13, 2021November 21, 2022 Assessment and Testing, Avoiding burnout, Avoiding power struggles, Beginning Teachers, Behavior Management, Behavior Management, Body and Brain, Books, Building responsibility, Classroom management, Creating community, Cultural Changes, Culture and Community, Discipline, Educators, Emotionally safe schools, Feedback and encouragement, Health and Safety, Homework, Increasing Positivity, Intervening negative behavior, Leadership, Learning, Learning styles, Life Management, Mentorship, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating cooperation, Non-traditional learners, Parent-Teacher relationships, Problem solving, Professional growth, Recognition and reinforcement, Relationships, Rules and Boundaries, School climate, Schools in Society, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Special Needs, Taking care of yourself, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher retention, Teaching, Teaching, Tolerance and Respect, Win-win authority avoiding power struggles, beginning teachers, boundaries, challenges for new teachers, creating community, difficult students, discipline, emotional safety, emotionally safe classroom, learning differences, parent-teacher relationships, positive consequences, professional development feedback, professional growth, professional identity, school culture, self-care, student behavior, student self-management, teacher retention, teaching

Win-Win Strategies for Success by Dr. Jane Bluestein At the start or your career or at the end of your rope… Get your teaching career off to a winning start—or recharge your passion for your work! The new & revised edition of Dr. Jane Bluestein’s pivotal guide for your teaching career! A great gift for new…

37 Ways to Spread Love On Random Acts Of Kindness Day (& Every Other Day, Too!)

By Dr. Jane BluesteinFebruary 6, 2019April 30, 2022 Counselors, Creating community, Educators, General Interest, Gratitude and inspiration, Increasing Positivity, Life Management, Relationships, Self-care and Inspiration, Social and Emotional Growth, Taking care of yourself, Teacher Appreciation, Tolerance and Respect 1 Comment

Share your good vibes with the world. by Dr. Jane Bluestein No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop Think of the times you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s courtesy, thoughtfulness, or patience — and how good it felt to get a call from an old friend or when that…

Dream Big!

By Dr. Jane BluesteinNovember 16, 2017June 10, 2022 Counselors, Educators, Feedback and encouragement, Feedback and encouragement, General Interest, Increasing Positivity, Modeling positive behavior, Motivating your kids, Parenting, Parents, Problem solving, Social and Emotional Growth "i can", creativity, dream big, dreaming, emotional support, encouragement, fantasies, inspiration, listening, modeling, positivity, protectiveness, supporting children, unconditional love Leave a comment

Encouraging your children’s fantasies—and their future! It’s something a child hears often: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A simple, even rhetorical question. But for children, this is a serious inquiry that can also be a great opportunity to share their ambitions, dreams, and creative longings. Even if the answers vary…

“Constructive Differencing” Notes and Highlights

By Dr. Jane BluesteinAugust 29, 2016April 30, 2022 Counselors, Creating community, Cultural Changes, Culture and Community, Educators, General Interest, Parents, Problem solving, Relationships, School climate, Social and Emotional Growth, Tolerance and Respect Leave a comment

How to disagree and still maintain contact The following offers additional resource material related to the conversation with Dr. Jared Scherz, (audio file/podcast). The main points include: One of the most stress-producing obstacles in any relationship is the need to be right when it requires others to be wrong. Differences in school systems occur on…