Book: 21st Century Discipline

Where it all began We are closing our Store and look what we just discovered! We just found a small stack of the original copies of 21st Century Discipline—the final printing by the publisher who mis-spelled “Disipline” on the spine of the book—truly a collector’s item. And… it’s free for the cost of shipping it to…

Tired of Nagging Your Kids?

Here’s What you Can Do Instead You’ve probably heard them all. “Awww, Mom!!” “Do I have to.” Or my all-time favorite, “You can’t make me!” Or maybe your kids’ routines are more along the lines of pouting, arguing, ignoring you (or agreeing and then ignoring you). Either way, in the day-to-day dealings with children, there…

Dream Big!

Encouraging Your Children’s Fantasies—and Their Future! It’s something a child hears often: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A simple, even rhetorical question. But for children, this is a serious inquiry that can also be a great opportunity to share their ambitions, dreams, and creative longings. Even if the answers vary…

Getting Through the “Gimme” Season

Tips for joyful giving (and staying sane) The hints start dropping early. Visions of sugarplums give way to images of the hottest toys, trends, and technology. Lists, links, and spreadsheets are emailed, tweeted, and texted. I want. I want. I want. Our inboxes overflow with gift ideas. We get wound up by the promises of glittery commercials…

Motivating the Unmotivated

Getting past defenses, disinterest, and disengagement Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Of all the challenges teachers face, the one mentioned most consistently over the years has been, “How do I engage kids who aren’t motivated and just don’t care?” Few things are more frustrated that having your planning and enthusiasm met with groans, shrugs, or eye…

Stress-Producing Obstacles in Relationships

Patterns to avoid Want to reduce conflict, pain, and alienation in relationships with the important people in your life? Here are some of the patterns that make connecting difficult. (Some suggestions for resolution below.) • Needing to be in charge or in control, especially when it depends on disempowering or controlling others, or when it disregards…

Icelandic “Pads” on the Back™ Template

Download the “Pads” on the Back™ Template in Icelandic by Dr. Jane Bluestein & Lynn Collins, Ph.D. These are two of the eight different messages on the PDF. By clicking on the link below you agree to keep the copyright notice on this page and to distribute or share these materials for free. Click here to download…

Motivation vs. Manipulation

There is a difference You see the kids on task and behaving, and it’s natural to want to reinforce what they’re doing. By the same token, the kids who are dragging their feet or not doing their work (or chores) may need a bit of a fire lit under them. There are positive and effective…

Checklist: Characteristics of Positive Teacher-Student Relationships

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with your students. If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? (Click here for a description of each category.) Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I attempt to…

I-Messages: The Handout

More information about a destructive communication pattern This handout was developed to accompany a free online article, “What’s Wrong with ‘I-Messages’?” I first wrote about the problems with using this formula to try to get people to change their behavior in 1991. Evidence based on outcomes of using this formula has only strengthened my opinion. There are…