Stressful
or Painful School Experiences that can Compromise Emotional Safety
by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.
The items on this list were compiled from a number of print resources
as well as surveys and interviews conducted over a two-year period. (Many
items suggested in the literature overlapped or were repeatedly expressed
in interviews and surveys.) Feel free to add your own observations and
experiences to this list. Any of these events or experiences can have
a negative impact— not only on the student directly involved, but
also students who observe the experience, and on the emotional climate
of the learning environment, as well.
Being placed in educational material above actual ability level
Unclear directions; directions not repeated or available if you didn’t
get them the first time
Not being given enough help or assistance
Not having resources, structure or guidelines, people or information
needed to complete an assignment (before having to respond or explain)
Not having enough time to complete work; unrealistic deadlines
Not having enough time to think about a question or process new information
Inability to speak the language
Teacher’s impatience, annoyance or disgust
Overhearing teachers or other significant adults discussing you negatively
within earshot (either deliberately or accidentally)
Having a seemingly uncaring, uninvolved or weak principal
Rarely (or never) being given any choices or input in decisions that
affect you
Not being taken seriously; being ignored or dismissed, laughed off
Rigid application of rules and negative consequences (punishments)
Spanking, paddling or whipping used as punishment
Rough physical contact used deliberately or reactively to control or
punish (pinching, grabbing, pushing, hitting)
Witnessing classmates being shamed, spanked or punished
Being punished for moving, squirming, wanting to touch things, doodling,
swinging your leg, or other forms of “hyperactivity.”
Routinely recognized or praised, threatened or punished with conditional
approval from teacher or other adults
Favoritism of some students over others
Prejudice or discrimination (by adults or peers) based on race, ethnicity,
religion or other cultural factors
Prejudice or discrimination by adults or peers, including judgments,
ridicule, rejection, devaluing, shaming, insulting, demeaning, exclusion
or other negative reactions, whether verbal or nonverbal, based on clothing
(style, cost, value or where purchased), hairstyle, jewelry, or other
factors related to appearance
Prejudice or discrimination (by adults or peers) based on abilities
and interests, or on a lack of abilities or interest in a particular
area
Prejudice or discrimination (by adults or peers) based on sexual orientation,
whether expressed or inferred
Being left-handed and being pressured or required to use right-hand
Being punished long after an incident occurred
Being wrongly accused or wrongly punished
Inability to read or otherwise perform on grade level
Unpredictable or inconsistent teacher behavior
Teacher’s reliance on someone else (principal, counselor, parents,
for example) to handle or punish discipline problems
“Gotcha” tests, pop quizzes, useless tests or evaluations
used mainly to “catch” or punish you
Unrealistic rules and expectations
Demands that do not respect your developmental or ability level
Ineffective professionals trying to help; adults who don’t know
how to help even if they want to (or who inadvertently make things worse)
Not being positively recognized or acknowledged for positive behavior,
achievement, effort, cooperation, etc.
Little variety in day-to-day curriculum
Little variety in day-to-day schedule
Feeling little love in school in general
Teachers’ inability or unwillingness to help the slow learners
or kids who need extra help
A lack of understanding or difficulty communicating thoughts and feelings
that is frequently interpreted as laziness
Feelings of helplessness and lack of power to change an uncomfortable
situation; inability to see a possible solution to a problem
Teachers’ hollering, explosive behavior
Not being allowed to express problems openly and verbally to a teacher
Not being allowed or able to express feelings without fear of negative
reaction or consequence
Being called names that suggest stupidity or incompetence
Being told you’re not applying yourself
Being shamed or criticized for dropping something or knocking something
over; being told you’re clumsy
Being shamed or criticized for not understanding something the first
time it is explained
Feeling afraid to share, speak up or say anything in class
Feeling sad and lonely and not being able to share these feelings with
anyone
Feeling that no one really cares about you
Being picked last for a game in recess or gym class
Being bullied, harassed or intimidated by other students
Going to a new school, having to make new friends
Not being supported or protected by teachers or other adults who witness
other children hurting you (verbally or physically)
Being punished, shamed or excluded from an activity because you did
not respond quickly enough
Speaking, reading or presenting in front of the class
Being in the lowest reading group; knowing that your classmates think
you are slow (not as smart as they are)
Anticipating an activity or class you know you’re not good in
Having your grades read in class (low or high)
Having to wait to go to the bathroom until the scheduled time; being
denied access to the bathroom when needed
Having to sit so long at your desk without a break that your mind and
body become numb or restless
Being shamed, ridiculed, humiliated or set up to fail in front of your
peers
Being sensitive to or intolerant of the noise, visual stimulation or
movement in the classroom
Not having any privacy
Not being able to rest when you feel you need to
Poor match of learning style to teaching style; learning styles and
preferences not accommodated
Excerpted and adapted from Creating Emotionally
Safe Schools, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. © 2001, Health Communications,
Inc, Deerfield Beach, FL.
What people are saying about Creating Emotionally Safe Schools.
Buy Creating Emotionally Safe Schools.
Related handouts:
Survey: Is Your School (or Classroom)
an Emotionally Safe Place?
Supporting Kids in Crisis: Non-supportive
patterns to avoid!
Alternatives to Non-Supportive
Responses
Industrial Age Classrooms vs. Information Age Classrooms
Examples of Some New Ways of Thinking
Other handouts by Dr. Jane Bluestein
Complete alphabetical listing of all handouts on this site.
Articles and excerpts by Dr. Jane Bluestein
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alphabetical listing of all articles on this site.
Complete listing of all articles and handouts in Spanish or French.
Books, Articles, Audio and Video Resources and other Resources by Dr. Jane
Bluestein
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