Self-care and Inspiration

Thank You, Mrs. Mather

May 6, 2013 Educators

Acknowledging an early inspiration I knew it the instant I walked into Edith Mather’s kindergarten in the fall of 1956: I’m going to be a teacher. There was something about that classroom that was so wonderfully exciting, so inviting, so safe. It wasn’t just the room, of course,

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How to Stay Stressed

May 5, 2013 Avoiding burnout

Does this sound familiar? The following material came from a bookmark distributed by De Anza College: Although the De Anza Health Office long been an advocate of stress management, stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints of students, faculty, and staff alike. On account of this, we have come to the following conclusion: You [...]

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The Myth of the Self-Esteem “Myth”

May 5, 2013 Counselors

What self-esteem is, and is not On this page you will find a comparison between the characteristics of someone with a healthy, functional sense of self-worth vs. the characteristics of someone whose sense of worth, value, esteem, and deservingness is weak or low. See below for additional information. Self-esteem clearly goes beyond simply “feeling good [...]

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Recharging our Professional Batteries

April 10, 2013 Avoiding burnout

3 ways to keep the love alive! Earlier this year, I was contacted by a representative from a Polish Education Blog for an interview. They sent me a series of questions. One that really caught my eye— and was a lot of fun to answer— is offered below. The question is word-for-word the way it [...]

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“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

March 28, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

 Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for [...]

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Perfectionism with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt

February 26, 2013 Counselors

What’s Bad About Being Too Good? Episode Summary: In a culture that praises and rewards excellence and accomplishment, how can we avoid crossing the line to a dangerous desire for perfection? Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with Dr. Miriam Adderholdt about what perfectionism is, how it can negatively affect our social and emotional health, and the difference [...]

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What’s Wrong with I-Messages?

January 14, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

Problems with a popular formula © 1991, 1999, 2003, 2013 This article was originally written for an issue of Families in Recovery, a parenting magazine that is no longer in print. Although the examples primarily feature parent-child interactions, the dynamics, issues, and alternatives are applicable to any relationship. A man in one of my workshops [...]

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Prefectionism vs. Healthy Pursuit of Excellence

January 6, 2013 Counselors

Explaining the difference The following information was excerpted from Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? by Dr. Miriam Renée Adderholdt and reprinted with her permission. Perfectionists reach for impossible goals. Pursuers of Excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of Excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists [...]

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Jane Bluestein Discusses Emotionally Safe Schools

December 26, 2012 Assessment and Testing

Interview by Kate Bedford ©2001 Kate Bedford, Six Seconds Jane Bluestein is an award winning author and speaker. Her newest book, Creating Emotionally Safe Schools, is a comprehensive look at how we can make any educational institution safer— from an emotional, academic, behavioral, social, and physical standpoint. Formerly an inner-city classroom teacher, crisis-intervention counselor, and [...]

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The Power of Discouragement

December 20, 2012 Avoiding burnout

The impact of feedback on achievement Years ago working in Slovenia, I met an art teacher, Andrej Grošelj, who over the years, stayed in touch and became a friend until his recent and sudden death. With the help of Google’s Language Tools, I was able to translate email messages he occasionally sent in his native tongue. One [...]

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15 Ways to Live Optimistically

December 3, 2012 Counselors

Increasing positivity, hope, and optimism in your life and the lives of your loved ones Some of us are wired to be optimistic and cheerful, even in the face of unrelenting challenges and obstacles. Others have to make a conscious effort to focus the positive. Wherever you are on this continuum, here are a few [...]

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8 Ways to Live in Gratitude

December 3, 2012 Counselors

Tips for making your life more rich and positive. • Enjoy the beauty, richness, love, and opportunities that already exist in your life. • Express appreciation to people who do or give nice things to you. (Even if you receive a gift you don’t particularly like, you can still acknowledge the positive qualities of the [...]

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Rules and Beliefs of Unhealthy Systems

November 26, 2012 Counselors

Foundations of unhealthy adult-child group systems For much of my recent career, I have referred the following two lists (“Rules” and “Beliefs”) as the basis for the paradigm in which many of our current practices and polices exist. The information comes from Alice Miller’s work (cited below) and represents destructive, if common, ideas which cumulatively [...]

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The Dignity Stance

November 26, 2012 Counselors

Tips for responding to meanness or bullying by Naomi Drew Note from Jane Bluestein: Ms. Drew recommends teaching kids the following strategies. I think this information would also be valuable for adults in a similar situation.

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Wonder All Around

November 21, 2012 General Interest

Noticing the beauty all around you by Dr. Jane Bluestein, Judy Lawrence, M.S.Ed., and SJ Sanchez, M.P.A. Have you ever gotten a postcard from a place so beautiful that you stopped to imagine what living in a place like that must be like? Have you ever suspected that doing laundry or paying bills would somehow [...]

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An Attitude of Gratitude with Judy Lawrence, M.S.Ed.

November 19, 2012 Counselors

Magic, miracles and synchronicity Episode Summary: Make a few minutes for gratitude and appreciation today. Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with co-author Judy Lawrence about their book, Magic, Miracles, and Synchronicity, and the various dimensions of gratitude that can enrich your life.

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Presentation: Becoming a Win-Win Teacher

November 9, 2012 Avoiding burnout

Success with Kids, Parents, and Colleagues Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Oh, the challenges of becoming an educator in today’s fast-changing world! We’ll explore what keeps so many schools rooted in win-lose philosophies and practices, personal assets that will increase the odds of your survival and success, and specific strategies for winning in a win-lose system.

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Presentation: The Soft-Drink Dilemma

November 8, 2012 Counselors

Creating Win-Win Options in a Win-Lose World Presentation by Dr. Jane Bluestein Have you ever noticed that if you go to a restaurant and want a soft-drink, in almost every case you have to decide between Pepsi or Coke products? A silly distinction, but one that reflects the win-lose mentality that suggests in order for one side [...]

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