Archive | Rules and Boundaries

Presentation: Parents in a Pressure Cooker

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment. This program was designed as a half-day, full-day, or multi-day training to combine the discipline issues and power dynamics addressed in “You Can’t Make Me!”, with […]

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Curfew Blues?

Time to Agree about Time Do you get pushback from your kids when you try to enforce a curfew time? If so, you’re in good company. This is an area of conflict for many families and very often, the automatic response to a child’s negative response— whether sulking, arguing, complaining, or flat-out defiance— tends to […]

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5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Parents

And why they are better than rules Boundaries are tools for building cooperation in relationships, for letting others know what you want, and for letting them know which options are available to them (for getting what they want). Set boundaries when you want behaviors to change and wish to avoid negative, stressful behaviors such as […]

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“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for […]

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6 Reasons to Not Ask “Why”- For Parents

No more excuses! This post is about not asking for excuses by asking your kids to explain why they did something wrong or forgot to do something they were supposed to do (or had agreed to do). This is a common pattern that will create problems and can undermine your authority. Here’s why asking “why” […]

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11 Reasons to Use Boundaries- For Parents

Establishing your authority with boundaries * Boundaries allow you to express your limits and to communicate the conditions or availability of certain privileges that your children desire. * Boundaries prevent conflict and build win-win power structures. They help you take care of yourself while attempting to accommodate your children’s needs or desires. * Boundaries build […]

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9 Things to Remember when Setting Boundaries- For Parents

Practical tips for making boundaries work * Use boundaries to let your children know your limits and tolerances, your availability, the conditions under which you will participate in some activity, which privileges are available, or the conditions under which a privilege is available to your children. Use boundaries to give your children information they can […]

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Product: Article Reprints

Articles by Dr. Jane Bluestein This is a complete listing of the article reprints available on this site. The articles are listed in alphabetical order and cover a wide range of topics, primarily for parents and educators, with some subjects (more…)

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Video: Win-Win Parenting

Four video presentation on one DVD featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Win-win authority dynamics applied to relationships between parents and children. Includes practical strategies and tips for avoiding conflict, engaging cooperative behavior, building responsibility, setting boundaries and following through, and supporting children’s emotional needs. Appropriate for parents, grandparents, foster parents, and (more…)

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Audio: ParentTapes

Two audio CDs or mp3 audio files featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Hear Dr. Bluestein in a live— and very lively— presentation for more than 200 parents of kids of all ages and stages. These two CDs provide nearly 2 hours’ worth of simple, practical ideas for building relationships with your kids. This entertaining and dynamic […]

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Book: Parents, Teens and Boundaries

How to Draw the Line by Dr. Jane Bluestein Finally! A book that takes parents beyond surviving their kids’ teen years to a place where they can actually enjoy them. This book looks at the parent-child relationship from a perspective of boundaries—what they are, when they’re necessary, and how to express and maintain them. Discover […]

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Book: Listas Para Padres

Qué Hacer y Qué No libro de Jane Bluestein Más de 1.000 tips para construir mejores relaciones, con ideas simples, prácticas y comprobadas para ayudarle a construir el carácter, aumentar el rendimiento escolar, motivar la cooperación, reducir las fricciones, solucionar problemas y (more…)

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Book: The Parent’s Little Book of Lists

Do’s and Don’ts of Effective Parenting by Dr. Jane Bluestein Thousands of simple, practical, kid-tested ideas to help you build character, avoid power struggles, increase school success, motivate cooperation, reduce conflict, solve problems and create safe, loving relationships with (more…)

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Book: The Book of Article Reprints

A collection of articles for educators, counselors, and parents by Dr. Jane Bluestein This collection is available in print and as a PDF eBook download. Here, finally, is a collection of nearly three decades worth of articles by Dr. Jane Bluestein, including several several made available through I.S.S. Publications for the first time. (more…)

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Ways to Build IRRESPONSIBILITY in Children

Things you can do to reinforce children’s irresponsible behavior • Lie for them. • Make excuses for their behavior. Correct (or pay for) their mistakes for them. • Model a lack of responsibility, commitment, and follow-through yourself. • Refuse to believe that they are capable of doing what they’ve been accused of doing. (more…)

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