Parenting

Presentation: Parents in a Pressure Cooker

July 17, 2014 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment. This program was designed as a half-day, full-day, or multi-day training to combine the discipline issues and power dynamics addressed in “You Can’t Make Me!”, with […]

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The 7 Worst Things to Say to Your Kids During a Divorce

February 9, 2014 Counselors

Helping children make the transition By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller When you said the words, “I do,” on your wedding day, the idea of divorce probably never entered your mind. Nor was it even a fleeting thought when you witnessed the birth of your first child. Chances are it never occurred to you at […]

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Curfew Blues?

September 4, 2013 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

Time to Agree about Time Do you get pushback from your kids when you try to enforce a curfew time? If so, you’re in good company. This is an area of conflict for many families and very often, the automatic response to a child’s negative response— whether sulking, arguing, complaining, or flat-out defiance— tends to […]

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Good Parenting or Effective Parenting?

June 9, 2013 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

What is the Difference? Good parents control their children. Right? When a child is throwing a temper tantrum at the supermarket, everyone is thinking, “If they were good parents, they’d control that kid!” Well, perhaps not everyone thinks that, but when it’s our child and we are the ones on center stage, it usually feels […]

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Is Control the Goal? with Tammy Cox

June 9, 2013 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

The high price of trying to control children Episode Summary: Power is an intrinsic need we all have from day one! When it comes to adult-child relationships, power struggles are consistently at the top of the list. We all know that kids need limits and structure to grow into responsible adults, but there is also an […]

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5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Parents

March 31, 2013 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

And why they are better than rules Boundaries are tools for building cooperation in relationships, for letting others know what you want, and for letting them know which options are available to them (for getting what they want). Set boundaries when you want behaviors to change and wish to avoid negative, stressful behaviors such as […]

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11 Reasons to Use Boundaries- For Parents

December 10, 2012 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

Establishing your authority with boundaries * Boundaries allow you to express your limits and to communicate the conditions or availability of certain privileges that your children desire. * Boundaries prevent conflict and build win-win power structures. They help you take care of yourself while attempting to accommodate your children’s needs or desires. * Boundaries build […]

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9 Things to Remember when Setting Boundaries- For Parents

December 10, 2012 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

Practical tips for making boundaries work * Use boundaries to let your children know your limits and tolerances, your availability, the conditions under which you will participate in some activity, which privileges are available, or the conditions under which a privilege is available to your children. Use boundaries to give your children information they can […]

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Ways to Model Respect with your Children

November 28, 2012 Behavior Management

Practical ways to teach respectful behavior This list was compiled for a book for parents. Many of these tips will also apply to educators and others who work with young people. • Listen. Make eye contact when your children are talking to you. Make an effort to really hear and appreciate what your children are […]

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Rules and Beliefs of Unhealthy Systems

November 26, 2012 Counselors

Foundations of unhealthy adult-child group systems For much of my recent career, I have referred the following two lists (“Rules” and “Beliefs”) as the basis for the paradigm in which many of our current practices and polices exist. The information comes from Alice Miller’s work (cited below) and represents destructive, if common, ideas which cumulatively […]

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Thinking of “Consequences” as the Good Stuff

November 22, 2012 Discipline

A very different approach! Here’s a new spin on the notion of “consequences,” a term familiar to every parent. But rather than looking at the negative outcome of behavioral choices your children make, let’s

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Guidelines for Handling Your Children’s Negative Behavior

November 19, 2012 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

Practical tips for parents and caregivers • Think prevention. Although no one can predict every possible opportunity for disaster, many problems can be avoided by taking the time to anticipate

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Creating an Environment of Resiliency in School with David Friedli

September 30, 2012 Behavior Management

Three ingredients for success Episode Summary: Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with principal David Friedli about resiliency from the standpoint of how a balanced approach of

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“Bully” is a Four-Letter Word with Dr. Jo Ann Freiberg

September 30, 2012 Creating community

Emphasizing the language of respect Episode Summary: Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with Dr. Jo Ann Freiberg about what Freiberg calls “bully-mania,” referring to the hyper-reactivity and vigilance that has emerged in the shadow of the Columbine murders. They discuss the implications and limitations

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No Kidding About Bullying with Naomi Drew

September 30, 2012 Behavior Management

A constructive approach to a serious subject Episode Summary: What bullying looks like and the impact it has on children. Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with Naomi Drew about bullying words and actions, which could include teasing, making fun of someone, name calling, giving someone dirty looks or rolling eyes, excluding someone, or any physical event meant to […]

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Product: Article Reprints

September 25, 2012 Avoiding power struggles

Articles by Dr. Jane Bluestein This is a complete listing of the article reprints available on this site. The articles are listed in alphabetical order and cover a wide range of topics, primarily for parents and educators, with some subjects

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Video: Win-Win Parenting

September 23, 2012 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

Four video presentation on one DVD featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Win-win authority dynamics applied to relationships between parents and children. Includes practical strategies and tips for avoiding conflict, engaging cooperative behavior, building responsibility, setting boundaries and following through, and supporting children’s emotional needs. Appropriate for parents, grandparents, foster parents, and

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Audio: ParentTapes

September 19, 2012 Audio products

Two audio CDs or mp3 audio files featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Hear Dr. Bluestein in a live— and very lively— presentation for more than 200 parents of kids of all ages and stages. These two CDs provide nearly 2 hours’ worth of simple, practical ideas for building relationships with your kids. This entertaining and dynamic […]

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