Archive | Parenting

Resources and information for parents and caregivers.

9 Ways to be More Proactive

Thinking ahead, avoiding problems • Write down your parenting goals. Be specific about behaviors, principles and long-term outcomes that are important to you. It’s easier to anticipate, plan and prevent problems when you know what you’re trying to achieve! • Involve your children in discussions of your family’s goals, values and priorities. • Review your parenting goals […]

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How Do You Parent?

Noticing patterns in parenting styles Let’s examine your current parenting patterns and values. In each pair of statements, mark the one that you identify with most strongly, the one that “feels” most like you. ___ I respect the fact that my child has different tastes than I do. ___ I am often embarrassed by my […]

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9 Ways to Encourage Your Children’s Individuality

Appreciating your children’s uniqueness Even if your children are the spitting image of you, unless they are clones, you know that they are going to be different from you. And if you do indeed have more than one, they are going to be different from one another. This uniqueness contributes to the “personality” of your family, a potential […]

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Presentation: Parents in a Pressure Cooker

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment. This program was designed as a half-day, full-day, or multi-day training to combine the discipline issues and power dynamics addressed in “You Can’t Make Me!”, with […]

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13 Manières de Créer un Model de Respect pour votre Enfant

Par Jane Bluestein Ph.D. • Ecoutez. Regardez-le dans les yeux quand votre enfant vous parle.• Frappez avant d’entrer dans la chambre de votre enfant, surtout si la porte est fermée. • Employez le type de langage et le ton de voix qui serait acceptable si votre enfant vous parlait. • Appréciez le besoin qu’a votre enfant de s’amuser […]

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14 Façons d’être un Parent Plus Conscient

Par Jane Bluestein Ph.D. • Identifiez vos buts concernant l’éducation de votre enfant. Pensez au type de relation que vous cherchez à établir, et à ce que vous pouvez faire pour l’obtenir. Regardez les objectifs à long et à court-terme. • Faites-vous un petit panneau qui dit : « Ma relation avec mon enfant (ou mes enfants) est importante. […]

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Curfew Blues?

Time to Agree about Time Do you get pushback from your kids when you try to enforce a curfew time? If so, you’re in good company. This is an area of conflict for many families and very often, the automatic response to a child’s negative response— whether sulking, arguing, complaining, or flat-out defiance— tends to […]

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Good Parenting or Effective Parenting?

What is the Difference? Good parents control their children. Right? When a child is throwing a temper tantrum at the supermarket, everyone is thinking, “If they were good parents, they’d control that kid!” Well, perhaps not everyone thinks that, but when it’s our child and we are the ones on center stage, it usually feels […]

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Is Control the Goal? with Tammy Cox

The high price of trying to control children Episode Summary: Power is an intrinsic need we all have from day one! When it comes to adult-child relationships, power struggles are consistently at the top of the list. We all know that kids need limits and structure to grow into responsible adults, but there is also an […]

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5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Parents

And why they are better than rules Boundaries are tools for building cooperation in relationships, for letting others know what you want, and for letting them know which options are available to them (for getting what they want). Set boundaries when you want behaviors to change and wish to avoid negative, stressful behaviors such as […]

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11 Reasons to Use Boundaries- For Parents

Establishing your authority with boundaries * Boundaries allow you to express your limits and to communicate the conditions or availability of certain privileges that your children desire. * Boundaries prevent conflict and build win-win power structures. They help you take care of yourself while attempting to accommodate your children’s needs or desires. * Boundaries build […]

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9 Things to Remember when Setting Boundaries- For Parents

Practical tips for making boundaries work * Use boundaries to let your children know your limits and tolerances, your availability, the conditions under which you will participate in some activity, which privileges are available, or the conditions under which a privilege is available to your children. Use boundaries to give your children information they can […]

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Ways to Model Respect with your Children

Practical ways to teach respectful behavior This list was compiled for a book for parents. Many of these tips will also apply to educators and others who work with young people. • Listen. Make eye contact when your children are talking to you. Make an effort to really hear and appreciate what your children are […]

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10 Characteristics of Healthy Adult-Child Relationships

Description of the characteristics Healthy, functional relationships between adults and children (including teacher-student relationships) are characterized by the following. Increasing the presence of these characteristics in your relationships is a great way to improve commitment, communications, cooperation and consideration, and reduce stress and conflict as well! This list applies to parents and care-givers as well […]

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Rules and Beliefs of Unhealthy Systems

Foundations of unhealthy adult-child group systems For much of my recent career, I have referred the following two lists (“Rules” and “Beliefs”) as the basis for the paradigm in which many of our current practices and polices exist. The information comes from Alice Miller’s work (cited below) and represents destructive, if common, ideas which cumulatively […]

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