Discipline

Presentation: Parents in a Pressure Cooker

July 17, 2014 Avoiding power struggles with your kids

A comprehensive and positive approach for parents and caregivers Dozens of practical, positive, and effective strategies to help parents build kids’ cooperation, responsibility, and self-management in a caring, mutually-respectful, win-win environment. This program was designed as a half-day, full-day, or multi-day training to combine the discipline issues and power dynamics addressed in “You Can’t Make Me!”, with […]

See more… →

“Making Someone Wrong”

April 23, 2014 Building responsibility

What does that really mean? It was just a little editorial comment in the column of the manuscript for my last book. I was explaining the power of conditional access to positive consequences, noting that it was not necessary to “make [kids] wrong or point out the error of their ways when they blow it” […]

See more… →

Book: Managing 21st Century Classrooms

February 11, 2014 Avoiding power struggles

How do I avoid ineffective classroom management practices? You know all those behavior management strategies we learned to use? Well guess what! Some of them are actually making things worse! It’s long past time for our approach to classroom management to catch up to the kids we’re teaching. This book explores common misconceptions about classroom management […]

See more… →

Obedient vs. Cooperative Behavior

February 9, 2014 Behavior Management

There is a difference! As you can imagine, my perceptions and ideas about children’s behavior have evolved over the years, including shifts in the vocabulary and conceptual framework I use in my writing and seminars. These changes have been especially evident in relation to the concepts I explore in this post. Because it’s so easy […]

See more… →

It’s Only Disrespect if I Think it’s Disrespect

November 12, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

Attitudes are in the eye— and ear— of the beholder Do you have snarky people in your life? This post was adapted from material originally written for beginning teachers. The same ideas and strategies are equally effective in home and work environments, as well as any educational setting. Just substitute “student” (or “kid”) for “child,” […]

See more… →

“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

March 28, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for […]

See more… →

10 Dangers of Encouraging Obedience and People-Pleasing

February 9, 2013 Behavior Management

It’s not as desirable as it sounds! Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them. —Abraham* Most of the parents and teachers with whom I work come to my presentations (especially ones like “You Can’t Make Me!” and […]

See more… →

What’s Wrong with I-Messages?

January 14, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

Problems with a popular formula © 1991, 1999, 2003, 2013 This article was originally written for an issue of Families in Recovery, a parenting magazine that is no longer in print. Although the examples primarily feature parent-child interactions, the dynamics, issues, and alternatives are applicable to any relationship. A man in one of my workshops […]

See more… →

Improving Student Behavior through Positive School Climate

January 13, 2013 Behavior Management

It’s not about the rules! From the January 2013 newsletter: There is a strange myth around kids’ behavior that if we just have enough rules (and severe enough punishments), the misbehaviors will disappear. What I’ve observed, however, is an even stranger reality in which the opposite tends to be true. In schools, the longer the […]

See more… →

What’s so Hard About Win-Win?

January 8, 2013 Avoiding power struggles

Getting past old win-lose traditions This article was written for Educational Leadership magazine. A similar version appeared in the September 2011 edition of that magazine. Talk about safe, respectful schools and at some point, the term win-win is bound to come up. First coined in the 1920s by human relations and management pioneer Mary Parker […]

See more… →

Stressful or Painful School Experiences

January 6, 2013 Counselors

Events and experiences that can compromise emotional safety The items on this list were compiled from a number of print resources as well as surveys and interviews conducted over a two-year period. (Many items suggested in the literature overlapped or were repeatedly expressed in interviews and surveys.) Feel free to add your own observations and experiences […]

See more… →

Rules and Boundaries

December 17, 2012 Avoiding power struggles

Effectively creating structure in your classroom When I started teaching, I had some reservations about being completely in charge and responsible for the rules, so I tried involving the students in this task. Part of my intention was an honest stab at building a positive, win-win classroom environment, wanting to acknowledge the students’ needs for […]

See more… →

Spare the Rod

November 17, 2012 Behavior Management

The case against corporal punishment The following excerpt comes from Chapter 17, ”Behavioral Safety: Discipline and Cooperation,“ from Creating Emotionally Safe Schools © Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc., 2001). This material was copied taken from the final draft of the manuscript and may vary slightly from the final publication. Updates where noted. All resources […]

See more… →

Presentation: 21st Century Discipline

November 6, 2012 Avoiding power struggles

Responding to the Needs of Today’s Students Presentation for educators by Dr. Jane Bluestein Of all the issues concerning teachers, discipline generally tops the list. All our preparation, enthusiasm and instructional expertise won’t get us much without the

See more… →

Creating an Environment of Resiliency in School with David Friedli

September 30, 2012 Behavior Management

Three ingredients for success Episode Summary: Dr. Jane Bluestein talks with principal David Friedli about resiliency from the standpoint of how a balanced approach of

See more… →

Product: Article Reprints

September 25, 2012 Avoiding power struggles

Articles by Dr. Jane Bluestein This is a complete listing of the article reprints available on this site. The articles are listed in alphabetical order and cover a wide range of topics, primarily for parents and educators, with some subjects

See more… →

Video: Responsibility, Respect, and Relationships

September 19, 2012 Avoiding burnout

Creating Emotionally Safe Schools Complete program on DVD featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Get the Works! The complete staff development video package includes 15 self-contained, 30-minute inservice workshops featuring units that are engaging, entertaining, and geared toward action— not theory!

See more… →

Video: Responsibility and Classroom Discipline

September 19, 2012 Avoiding power struggles

Video presentations on 6 DVDs featuring Dr. Jane Bluestein Create win-win authority relationships! Explore practical and effective ways to teach students responsible behavior with boundaries instead of rules, and with positive outcomes rather than penalties. Discover how to construct and utilize win-win discipline strategies to encourage cooperation, responsibility and self-management, to resolve and prevent problems, […]

See more… →