Archive | Behavior Management

Checklist: Characteristics of Positive Teacher-Student Relationships

Evaluate your relationships Use this checklist to evaluate patterns in your current relationships with your students. If you have implemented a specific discipline or motivation approach, does it encourage relationships in which the following are true? (Click here for a description of each category.) Proactivity: ___ I focus on prevention–not reaction. ___ I attempt to […]

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The Problem with Zero Tolerance and Push Out Strategies

How these programs are making things worse On March 4, 2015, I had the privilege of keynoting the National Youth At Risk Conference for the second time. In meeting with many of the participants who attended the keynote and my follow-up session, as well as what I’ve observed in my visits to schools around the country and […]

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Top 5 Tips for Connecting with Parents

Building great home-school relationships right from the start I once heard a school administrator remind her staff, “Parents don’t send their bad kids to school and keep the good ones home. They send us the best they’ve got.” Teachers don’t get to handpick our “clientele.” The mix of students will include kids with a variety of skills, […]

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13 Manières de Créer un Model de Respect pour votre Enfant

Par Jane Bluestein Ph.D. • Ecoutez. Regardez-le dans les yeux quand votre enfant vous parle.• Frappez avant d’entrer dans la chambre de votre enfant, surtout si la porte est fermée. • Employez le type de langage et le ton de voix qui serait acceptable si votre enfant vous parlait. • Appréciez le besoin qu’a votre enfant de s’amuser […]

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Book: Managing 21st Century Classrooms

How do I avoid ineffective classroom management practices? You know all those behavior management strategies we learned to use? Well guess what! Some of them are actually making things worse! It’s long past time for our approach to classroom management to catch up to the kids we’re teaching. This book explores common misconceptions about classroom management […]

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It’s Only Disrespect if I Think it’s Disrespect

Attitudes are in the eye— and ear— of the beholder Do you have snarky people in your life? This post was adapted from material originally written for beginning teachers. The same ideas and strategies are equally effective in home and work environments, as well as any educational setting. Just substitute “student” (or “kid”) for “child,” […]

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“Magic” Sentences for Effective Communication

Positive language for avoiding conflict, negotiating agreements, and taking care of yourself “Magic Sentences” are key phrases that offer practical ways to use specific language to prevent, minimize, or de-escalate conflicts with others. Different sentences will be useful in different situations. These examples represent a win-win approach to relationships, and while they were originally developed for […]

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10 Dangers of Encouraging Obedience and People-Pleasing

It’s not as desirable as it sounds! Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them. —Abraham* Most of the parents and teachers with whom I work come to my presentations (especially ones like “You Can’t Make Me!” and […]

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What’s Wrong with I-Messages?

Problems with a popular formula © 1991, 1999, 2003, 2013 This article was originally written for an issue of Families in Recovery, a parenting magazine that is no longer in print. Although the examples primarily feature parent-child interactions, the dynamics, issues, and alternatives are applicable to any relationship. A man in one of my workshops […]

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Improving Student Behavior through Positive School Climate

It’s not about the rules! From the January 2013 newsletter: There is a strange myth around kids’ behavior that if we just have enough rules (and severe enough punishments), the misbehaviors will disappear. What I’ve observed, however, is an even stranger reality in which the opposite tends to be true. In schools, the longer the […]

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What’s so Hard About Win-Win?

Getting past old win-lose traditions This article was written for Educational Leadership magazine. A similar version appeared in the September 2011 edition of that magazine. Talk about safe, respectful schools and at some point, the term win-win is bound to come up. First coined in the 1920s by human relations and management pioneer Mary Parker […]

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Rules and Boundaries

Effectively creating structure in your classroom When I started teaching, I had some reservations about being completely in charge and responsible for the rules, so I tried involving the students in this task. Part of my intention was an honest stab at building a positive, win-win classroom environment, wanting to acknowledge the students’ needs for […]

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Ways to Model Respect with your Children

Practical ways to teach respectful behavior This list was compiled for a book for parents. Many of these tips will also apply to educators and others who work with young people. • Listen. Make eye contact when your children are talking to you. Make an effort to really hear and appreciate what your children are […]

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10 Characteristics of Healthy Adult-Child Relationships

Description of the characteristics Healthy, functional relationships between adults and children (including teacher-student relationships) are characterized by the following. Increasing the presence of these characteristics in your relationships is a great way to improve commitment, communications, cooperation and consideration, and reduce stress and conflict as well! This list applies to parents and care-givers as well […]

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Spare the Rod

The case against corporal punishment The following excerpt comes from Chapter 17, ”Behavioral Safety: Discipline and Cooperation,“ from Creating Emotionally Safe Schools © Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc., 2001). This material was copied taken from the final draft of the manuscript and may vary slightly from the final publication. Updates where noted. All resources […]

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5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary- For Educators

 A positive, effective shift from rules and punishments Unlike rules (with punishments or negative consequences), boundaries* are characterized by the following: Clarity Boundaries are clear, specific and clearly communicated. They work best when you have the students’ attention, when they understands what you’re requesting, when the positive outcome of their cooperation is clear and when […]

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Presentation: Character Counts

Building Relationships that Build Character Presentation for educators or parents by Dr. Jane Bluestein It’s one thing to expect or demand certain desirable character traits in kids—and another to create an environment in which these behaviors are likely to emerge! (more…)

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Presentation: 21st Century Discipline

Responding to the Needs of Today’s Students Presentation for educators by Dr. Jane Bluestein Of all the issues concerning teachers, discipline generally tops the list. All our preparation, enthusiasm and instructional expertise won’t get us much without the (more…)

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